In Which I ramble

I'm not 100% sure what the hell is going on here but back in may Splitter was kind enough to make a special guest post on my blog and lately the hits have really been racking up for that particular post.
It has just as many hits as all of my other blog posts combined in the past week or (perchance) even longer.
Whatever, I'll take the traffic any way I can get it.
On that note, the number one way people are finding my blog is via the search word "lesbian" so I've got that going for me.

I will also be passing the 50k page hits mark in the near future which is a pretty f'n cool thing if I do say so myself.

None of that is what I came here to talk about today though.  I came to talk about changes.

Yesterday Carmel and I spent some time together and both acted like perfect adults.  There was no arguing, no accusations no outward ill will or any of the other things that we have come to expect over the course of the past year or so.  We got together and finalized the last bit of paperwork for the house and talked like normal adults.  On the bell curve this currently falls somewhere around fucking outlyer.

So with that being said I'm now less than two months from having to physically move every bloody thing I own one more time.  I've only done it like 40 other times during my life so what is one more right?  Last time I enlisted the help one one friend, this time I'm going to expand exponentially and enlist the help of upwards of 4 friends.  While this might be hard for some of you to believe, I might actually have four friends who happen to live within some proximity of me who actually would help me get all of my shit from point A to point B.  (one of them is just going to be on Vacation and visiting so I have yet to tell him how he is spending his Vegas Vacation yet - Sucker!!)

In all honesty, I fucking hate packing more than I hate moving.

Referenced and Linked above is "the penis mightier than the sword" C.S. Splitter who, as I hear rumblings from his editor, is almost completed with his 3rd book "The grrouchie."
(working title that I just made up, may or may not be true).
As I was talking to his editor today I told her how excited I was to actually see myself in print form (if you didn't know, I'm going to be a fictional character in the book and at one point I heard through the rumor mill that I might not die and could end up in book #4 *nudge nudge*).  Of course she then alluded to she couldn't wait either and was the one tasked with making me look good, er, I mean making his book look good and readable.
So, I'm now asking for everyone to donate to my Paypal account so I can pay her off as she edits me magnificently so that everyone falls in love with the character and clamorous for more until I am a folk hero legend with a cult following and millions and millions of letters are sent to Splitter demanding my own Spin Off Novel, Series, TV Show and Movies.  I want action figures and plushies and a fucking T-shirt that says "I survived a Splitter Novel as a extra."
Oh, I'm going to be so famous in my own mind!

And lastly I want to mention that even though it hasn't been brought up in the past couple of months I am still constantly thinking about my future career as an Open Mic Comic.
While I have yet to use her talents and services, the lovely Linda Lou will be taken advantage of (left up to your imagination).  I feel blessed to have randomly made such a contact who is also a nice person, outgoing and actually wants to help out someone aspiring to torture himself in such a manner.

My plans have never changed but life is all about having to be in the right place to do things properly.  I am slowly getting to that right place, I feel it's just around the next corner or two, maybe over the next hill but the time is coming.  With that said I've also made another contact who currently happens to live in the greater Pittsburgh area and is a Die Hard Steelers fan as well.
This contact also is thanks to the Internet (so thank you Al Gore for inventing that for me).  She is the aunt of one of my Facebook pals whom I worked with at my current Retail job and actually cuts the hair for my mother.  The niece, not the aunt. I confused myself.  In the interest of confusion I'm not editing any of that - screw you guys, figure it out yourself.
Anyways, this person added me on Facebook recently and we started talking about the Steelers and other things of awesome import when somehow it was discovered that I'm interested in being an entertainer (not that type) and want to give comedy a try.  This is when I found out she has somewhat of a background in writing (comedy specifically) and totally wants me to leech off of her teat and will allow me to use her as a resource as well to help me achieve my goals.

Right now I think the world is in love with me and great things will be happening.
And as the great Jim Morrison once said.
C'mon and Touch Me Baby!
OoOoooo, yeah, right there.

Weight Loss Day 4

If Anyone is really here to read the diary of a fat kid then feel free to skip down a few lines and dive right into that.  However I begin with this.
I ended up making a special appears over at an old friends website/blog today.  In between paying bills and fending off angry customers I was having an email conversation that led to my guest post.
I won't go into the details that led to this but it's a story that I forgot all about until today and I do love to share stories of my past - especially since I really have very few to tell that are worthwhile.
So, Please head over and check out that post as well.


Now, onto the Diary of a Fat Kid which is what I really wish I was titling these posts instead of that generic bs that is up there now :)


Dear Day 4,

I’m just writing to tell you that I’m not a big fan of you.  Days 1 - 3 were nice to me and helped me along my path but you sir are a dick.
What is with this unnatural craving for BBQ that you have presented me with? What is this temptation?  Why not a nice casual reminder that I can get a salad out of my favorite sub at Subway because it’s healthier, loaded with veggies and has a low point count?  No, there has been no mention of that from you at all.  Instead you have me sitting here drooling over the possibility of a slab of ribs smothered in BBQ sauce or a Famous Dave’s Devil Spit burger complete with extra Hellfire pickles and Jalapeno bacon dipped into an extra heaping of BBQ sauce.

Day 4, I’m not sure we can be friends any longer.  I’m going to figure a way through this day and I’m going to leave you for someone nicer and prettier tomorrow. I hope she’s your sister so that you feel some sort of resentment for treating me this way.




I did manage to survive the day and I do have some points left over no matter. I ended up going to Chipotle for lunch which is something I have not had in a long time. It's a bit heavy on the points side compared to other things that I could be eating but I did the math and I knew that I could fit it in and still have a room to spare for a good dinner. Dinner was also nice with two delicious turkey burgers each with a slice of Provolone/Mozzarella cheese (it's this weird hybrid animal tested cheese that's a combination of both - tastes delicious and melts pretty well too) and topped off with some white wine sauce. I'm actually pretty stuffed from dinner still even though it was a couple hours back.


Today I'm sitting in the break room eating my Chipotle when a co-worker comes in and sits down next to me (chick magnet - what can I say?) and casually says to me "So, day 4?"
And even though I didn't let on (at least i don't think i did) I had a huge smile on the inside that I've got at least one reader from work and that one remark alone is encouragement enough to keep this whole charade up.
Unofficially I've been doing this for over a week now and in that time I have dropped about 10 pounds.
Officially Sunday is my second weigh in and that leaves me with a conflict. If Sunday is weigh in day that means I can't use Saturday as "go bat-shit crazy and eat everything in site to use up those extra left over points" day. No, I'm going to need better planning because I don't want to have to have worked hard all week to meet my goals only to lose progress on Saturday night.


Friday's all right though, right? Well, Friday night is going to be filled with alcohol as I'm possibly attending a going away party for one of my favorite people at work. I'm sad to see her go (but I love to watch her leave.... *rim shot*) but I think she's going to have a blast living in Hawaii for the next few years. Then Sunday I'm going to see what I'm pre-chalking up to a poor man's Stomp - Recycled Percussion.
That last link leads to Vegas Linda Lou's blog where she talked about the show a bit already.
Maybe I'll buy ear plugs.

Week of the Shit-Storms (week in review)

So I make a post about cats and dogs and I get my most commented on post yet. This started as an alternative post to Josie talking about how she doesn't much get along with the canine species.

On Twitter Poker Grump pointed me to an article about how cats, in all reality, might actually be driving their owners crazy.
There are a lot of words on that page, but it's worth a read.
I've also had fellow Blogger The Crafty Southpaw come back with an article about how he doesn't agree much with my assessment that cats are vile evil creatures from another dimension, but instead loves his cats and gives many reasons why. I would also like to point out that I'm quite happy that he spelled my internet alter ego correctly by including two r's which most people either over look or don't care about :)

I also accidentally stirred up a shit-storm on Robs Vegas & Poker Blog when I commented on a post comparing two people. I since have deleted my post and the person I pissed off has his deleted as well.  However, there was a lot of fun on Twitter that started because of my comment.

Small Potatoes wrote up a post that reminds me one of my main goals with being a homeowner, poker games.
I'm looking forward to being able to have friends over to the house (hopefully by the end of the year) to enjoy a nice small stakes game of poker withe some good snacks and a bunch of beer.  Sure, someone might accidentally win $20-$40 bucks one night but I'll be damned if first prize isn't going to be more about bragging rights.

I'm also going to re-point out that C.S. Splitter now has his books available on Create Space in print form. They will soon be coming to Amazon in print form as well. Or, if you prefer to go all new-age on us then you can also pick them up from Amazon.com in e-book form as well.

Conversely, editor extraordinaire Tricia Kristufek is also pimping out the Splitter books as well - and recently has converted her blog over to her own domain name.

Yesterday I finally got my lower wisdom teeth removed. It was a fun process full of extra Novocaine that made it hard to swallow for a while.  It took a good 3+ hours before the effects finally wore off and then the soreness set in.  It's not so agonizingly annoying like some people make it out to be, but the biggest annoyance is that I really could go for some food right now.
It's recommended that you eat baby food for the first day so that nothing gets into your new bloody wound and causes an infection, or keeps it open causing it to bleed even longer.  So, dinner last night was a bowl of ice cream.  Today thus far I had a slim-fast shake and i've got a bunch of power-aid drinks to get me through the day.  However, it doesn't stop my desire for real sustenance.  I'm going to gorge when I get the chance.

I found a 1 month Xbox Live subscription card among my junk (no, not that junk). So, I activated the code as I plan on playing some Gears of War 3 tonight with Matt (who lives in PA and doesn't have a blog or anything cool for me to link to).  I have yet to really even play the game so we plan on running through it this weekend so that I can open up Insane mode.
Then myself, himself, Timself and Gregself are planning on running through Gears to beat it on Insane mode which will probably unlock achievements for beating the game on Insane, Beating the game with another person, Beating the game with 3 other people, and Beating the game at home and naked while singing the Star Spangled Banner (and probably a lot fucking better than Steven Tyler did).

On Writing

Here's the thing - this whole blogging experiment which I have gone through several times and then quit when I got bored of it is more to get me to write more than to actually interact with people.
Do not get me wrong, it tickles my fancy to no end when I see that someone has actually taken the time out of their day to not only stop by and read what I have to say, but to comment on it in some way as well.
I've always fancied myself as being the creative type in some manner, but I have never been able to harness the power so to speak.  I generally have ideas floating around in my head but I always feel that it comes off horrible when I try to put it to paper.
I used to write a lot in high-school, short stories and what not. Then college I found myself taking some creative writing courses just so that I could write more.  I enjoyed them a lot but when they were done so was I.

This past Xmas (I know, it was so long ago) I found myself gifted with a Kindle Fire which has really started putting me back into the reading mood.  I have gone through 2 novels by C.S. Splitter, a collection of short stories by S.J. Moyer and A short story by Stephen King and am now working my way through The Dark Tower Part 7.

The more I read the more I have this desire to write which explains the frequency of which I update this little corner of my internet universe. However, what I would really like to do is get to the point where I can take the demons in my head and craft them into honest-to-goodness short stories to share with my friends (and potentially have them not suck).

So, I think that I'm going to have to start looking for books on the craft of writing.  I'd like to read about how others approach the idea of a story.  It has to start somewhere (that is after your original idea).  How do people do it though?  Do you map out your ideas in a time line?  Do you make a flow chart of different characters and idea's and plot devices and then just somehow connect them all?  Do you just sit down and type and see what comes out and then figure out a way to work it all together after the fact?

If anyone has any advice or can point me to something that they think would be a good read on the subject I'd love to hear about it.

Now, back to The Dark Tower so that Very Josie and Tricia Kristufek don't continue to brow beat me about not having finished it.  :)