Betting on the Pigskin - Week 3

The time has come once again for me to sit down and type out some predictions for everyone to marvel over. Last week there was not a whole lot of marveling as my predictions were pretty much crap, but alas I'm new at this game and much like my rugged handsome features my sports betting prognostication will get better with time.

I've changed my sports-book of choice to look up my NFL betting odds this time around because I feel that maybe a change of scenery will help my predictions.  Paddypower currently does not take wagers from U.S. citizens currently (though they are looking to change that in the future) so unless you are on the other side of the pond please do not have any wild dreams about jumping on board and placing the wagers that I am putting forth here.  Currently, I can only bring fame, riches and glory to those outside of the United States!!!

The NY Giants are +2.5 vs Carolina which I think is a fabulous bet to take as I feel the Giants are going to win this game.
Buffalo is currently listed at -3 vs Cleveland and I pretty much feel that betting against Cleveland every week is a guaranteed way to make money.
The Bengals are listed at +3 vs the Redskins which I think is also a fantastic pick.  RG3 is a great player but their defense just lost it's best player and another guy who anchored their line.  The Red Bomber and AJ Green are going to have an easier time without Orakpo in Daltons face every single play.
Detroit Lions are -3.5 vs the Titans and I think you'd be stupid NOT to bet this game.  From what I understand CJ2k was recently questioned on his whereabouts for the two Titan murders that were committed the past two Sundays.
49ers -6.5 vs Minnesota I think is another good one as the 9ers D is good enough to shut down All Day AP especially since the Vikings do not have a passing game.
Greenbay -3 vs Seattle - Even though I think Seattle will play the Packers tough, I still think Green Bay wins by 10 points.  Seattle is an up and coming team but Russel Wilson is going to feel the wrath of Clay Matthews to the tune of another 3 sacks.

Those are my 6 picks and I'm really liking the way they look.  This week there are a lot of tough match-ups and games that could go either way.  The NFL has a lot of parity currently with only a couple teams that really stand out among the rest and a couple that are well below the rest.

So, here's to hoping with my new found online sports book and their NFL betting odds will propel me to greatness!
Last week I finished 2-4 on my predictions and this week I'd really be happy with a 4-2 finish to get me to .500 on the season.

It's NOT OK Tuesday

I'm just following suit and being a great big copy cat, putting my own spin on it and calling it fucking original.

It's NOT ok that I was supposed to receive a phone call yesterday but it never happened.
It is OK, however, because a certain other opportunity might be rearing its ugly head that I'd be much better suited for.

Its NOT ok that I used the wrong fucking for of its at the beginning of this sentence and most people probably didn't notice.

It's NOT ok that the NFL doesn't give two shits about the refs and are perfectly happy with these 3rd rate replacement officials.
It IS OK that these 3rd rate refs are trying their damnedest to do the best they can under such shitty circumstances.
It's NOT ok that as spoiled fans we are bitching and moaning that the refs suck when we should focus on the fact that the fucking NFL Brass are the ones who suck by not sucking it up and giving in to some of the demands of the real officials so that they can get back to the field and do what they do best.

It's NOT ok that I have some vacation next week and have two sets of company in town and am going to probably have to ignore them almost the entire time they are here and then not see them for another bloody year.

It's NOT ok that life's going to suck when you grow up.
It's NOT ok that my Strat-o-Matic team has not gotten off to a good start in the NFL this year.
It's NOT ok that I have to fart but am actually kind of concerned because there is a chance that it might be more than a fart.

It's NOT ok that, seemingly at random, I add an extra space between some of these entries but at other times there is no space at all between entries.

It is OK that it's about time for bed.
It is OK that I fluctuate between it is and it's.
It's OK that I am trying to become a better person in life even though I really love being an asshole.
And It's ok that I only did 60 push-ups today!


grrouch out

Double-U Tee Eff

Um, sometimes I question Google on what brings people to my corner of the internet.
However, I'm happy to report that one person found me by searching for:
Pics of old fat guys haveing (sic) sex with..... and I can only assume this is finished with something like wild boars in the outback....

The internet, gotta love it.

A brief work interlude

Based on every piece of information I had been given the interview process was over this past Friday for the position I applied for.  People were supposed to start hearing back on Monday.
Talking to the other guy in my store, whom I expect they will offer the job to, neither of us have heard anything back.

Right now I am happy about that because another position has popped up at a different store that I would like infinitely better. It's in a department that I'm a whole lot more experienced in which will help the learning curve a ton.  It's also just one department instead of multiple.  When I made it to work yesterday I had an email from my HR stating that this other position was open and that I needed to apply for it.

It's tough to gauge if they think I'm ready and are just trying to help get me promoted or just want to get my ass out of the store :)

I'm really looking forward to my company coming into town this Saturday and as such this week is going to drag out like a bad horror movie, like the opening scene to Jeepers Creepers where they run over the bad guy about 14 times and extend the scene by an additional painful 25 minutes or whatever... yeah, it feels like that.

My Horrorscope today straight from Facebook:

Hope that others will understand that you don't want to take on too much today. In order to maintain an inner equilibrium, you need time off occasionally and should do it now. Having a few hours of free time will cheer you up and your friends will be happy too! By having a meal together you can have a good talk to them.

So yes, I do not want to do any work today - you don't have to be some damned star gazing psychotic to know that about me.  My inner child wants me to call in sick and play hooky while watching Dexter Season 3 and sprinkling in some Skylanders Cloud Patrol on my Kindle Fire.

I don't believe in horrorscopes because they are just wanky generic bullshit - but my old Psychotic friend from Australia whom I haven't talked to since my College days was good enough to have me convinced otherwise.  She had an amazing ability to give me information about my personal life or just ask questions about certain people that made it seem plausible.  Kinda miss that kooky chick!

Sunday Night Update

I've been learning over the past few months that if you start with the bad, the dirty, the awful or whatever else and end with something positive nothing seems that bad in the end.
So, without blah blah blah.

Sports Betting:
I start out sucking which really proves to me that I shouldn't be putting real money on games.
So, some positive with my negative I guess.
Pats vs Cards - 48.5 OVER - Actual 38 points..... 0-1
Vikings vs Colts - 45.5 UNDER - Actual 43 points ... 1-1
Saints -2.5 vs Panthers - Panthers won - 1-2
Cowboys -3 vs Seahakws - Seahawks won - 1-3
49ers -7 vs Lions .... Lions lost by 8.... 1-4
Chargers -6.5 vs Titans.... Chargers Covered ... 2-4

Total 2-4 and would have definitely lost money this week! Score one for being a tight-ass with my money and refusing to sports bet!

Football:
Steelers won and looked very dominant after the 1st quarter.
Ravens Lost and that's always good.

Strat - Scumdogs:
Antonio Brown had 7 receptions.
C.J. Spiller ran wild again averaging over 8 yards per carry in the game and over 10 for the season thus far!

Push-Ups:
I set out a goal of doing 50 today and decided upon doing random sets of 10 throughout the day.
For my morning shift I did 3 sets of 10. In the afternoon I did 2 sets of 10 and felt myself wearing down.
In the evening I did another 2 sets and finished at 70 push-ups for the day!!!
I'm hoping to do 100 next Sunday as my stretch goal.  I want to try for one more set for the night but I don't want to push it too hard so I'm ending at 70!
For the rest of this week I'm going to keep doing sets of 10 and then next week I'll up to to 11 or 12 or whatever I feel comfortable with.  Either way, I'm getting in some exercise and muscle building as well so this has to be a win-win for the fat man right?

Weight Loss - Day 98 - Plus some

Almost 100 days and still showing some minor progress and, more importantly, no regress.  

Yesterday I weighed myself because I knew it was going to be a rough night full of pizza and pasta go to with the Boxing Matches.  However, I did not overdo it which I'm pretty happy about.

Today I came in at 265.

5 more pounds to go to hit that all elusive 260 number.  Taking it one day at a time and one salad at at time.

I haven't updated on the push-ups but I'm still getting some in almost daily.  I found that with some stress that is going on in my life I think killing myself with the push-ups like I was ended up just adding a ton of tension into my neck/shoulder muscles which at one point caused a 3 day headache.  So, I've backed off on killing myself just trying to get as many as possible and instead of just cut back to doing a few sets per day to keep up with some sort of exercise and to slowly build my muscle that way instead.

Today, while watching Football, eating wings and drinking beer I'm going to put in at least 50 pushups over the course of the day.  It really sounds puny but just a couple weeks ago the most I could do when "maxing out" was literally 6.  So, I'm actually quite happy with my progress and the fact that I can do 10+ without a struggle at this point.

My bedroom is close to empty at this point.  Almost every single Blue Ray and Video Game I own has been packed up and transported to my storage unit waiting for the next move.  Everything I have been told points to being able to start cleaning/moving back into the house this coming Saturday/Sunday.

Last night after I came home from the boxing matches one of my neighbors approached me asking me if I knew where to buy some weed.  She said she was told by someone else that I smoke and would know. I had to disappoint her and send her on her not-so-merry way weedless and sulken.

Speaking of Boxing - Las Vegas was home to two different big events last night.  One which was fought at the Thomas n Mac Center (I think) was on PPV and that one included the Chavez Jr fight.  The one I watched was billed as the Knock Out Kings and was full of talent surrounding Oscar De La Hoya (however you have to spell that) and was free on Showtime and overall was a good set of fights.  These fights took place at the MGM Grand!

The only fight of the evening that was a disappointment was the final fight, Canelo vs Lopez and that is only because I haven't been a boxing fan in years and know nothing about any of the fighters.

Lopez was over matched big time.  I believe he stepped up a weight class to fight Canelo and it really showed. Canelo, the champion, looked bigger and better and really beat down the smaller man.  Canelo is one of those guys to watch because he might be a force.  He is only 22 years old but he's already fought like 48 times so far with no losses and only one draw.  However, at this point in his career he is going to start fighting better competition and will be fun to watch.

Currently I am downloading the HBO PPV from last night so I can watch those fights as well.

I am ready for football today.  In a previous post I listed some games that I would have bet on if I were a betting man. So, I'm looking forward to seeing how well I guessed those games as I keep track during the season.  

Steelers vs Jets today - Big game as the Steelers need to bounce back with a win.  I can't say for sure and will feel more confident after the 1st quarter of the season is over, but there is a good chance the Steelers are fighting for a Wild-Card spot again as the Ravens really look to be taking off offensively while still maintaining  a damned good defense.  We cannot afford to lose a 2nd game to start the season and be two games back of Baltimore and potentially 1 game back of Cincy as they play the inept Browns today.

Here we go Cleavage here we GO!

Amazon Goes Above and Beyond

There have been other times on Twitter or Facebook or maybe even on here where I have talked about Amazon's superior customer service and how they continue to impress me with things that they do to take care of issues and even non-issues.

I love Amazon and will continue to do the majority of my shopping there because of the way that they aim to please the customer.

For instance - I had ordered a copy of Dead Rising 2 once upon a time and there was a pre-order bonus that was to come with the game.  The bonus was in the form of a code and some downloadable content.  Normally the code will get emailed to you about two days after the game is released.  However, Capcom screwed up and the codes were late by about 2-3 weeks.
After a week Amazon sent out an apology letter to everyone offering $10 in Amazon credit to be used towards your next video game purchase because the codes were late.
After another week it looked like the codes were just cancelled and Amazon sent out another email stating such and giving everyone a code for 50% off a purchase of another Capcom game (already out or able to be pre-ordered).
So, Because of this I got to Pre-order the Collectors edition of Marvel vs Capcom 3 at 50% off and then take an additional $10 off from there.
When my game came in the case was beat to hell over shipping. It was dented and broken at one point.  However, the big issues is that the game was also sold out and only available via resellers for about double the original price.
I sent Amazon an email asking if they were going to ever get more in and describing my situation.  What they had me do was place an order with one of their resellers and when the order went through they would reduce the price to zero for me.  They never asked for the one I already got back, they just gave me a new one to make things right.

I've had similar experiences like this a couple of times and now on to the reason why I decided to start this particular post.

I had pre-ordered an awesome collection set that was going to be coming out here in the near future.
It was a Marvel Avengers set with all of the Avengers tie-in Movies - all in Blue Ray and with the 3D versions for the movies that were released that way.  It came in Nick Fury's Briefcase and inside there was the glowing blue box of doom (whatever it's called) that actually housed all of the movies.  In short, it was a geeks wet dream, at least mine!
However, the makers of this package failed to actually get permission from the maker of the brief case to use the likeness for this release and they got sued and finally backed off - pulling the set and cancelling the pre-orders because of the ordeal.  They are now in a redesign phase for this collection but it won't be coming out until sometime next year.

This morning I received an email from Amazon that offered, to everyone who pre-ordered and did not cancel their order after finding out the package wasn't coming out this year, a code to receive a FREE 2 disc Blue Ray version of the Avengers for the inconvenience.
All because Marvel had to cancel the current package that they were going to release.
Amazon did not have to do anything.  They had nothing to do with the decision but yet they decided to give something away to show that they understand our frustration and want to do something to make it right.

So, bravo Amazon, once again you went above and beyond when I was actually expecting nothing. You gave me a nice surprise this morning and I'll be looking forward to my free copy of The Avengers.

Week 2 NFL Bets

I completely skipped week 1 and I did so on purpose because I was in mourning.
You see, I had actually planned on using a few bucks every week to make some parlay cards and ride out the wave of excitement like everyone else does in this fine city of mine.  I had adopted a guru who was going to help me out on my journey from novice to king of the fucking world and together we were going to ride off into the sunset with a hooker and a line of coke each.   Oh, life was going to be fanfuckingtastic.

Well, needless to say none of that happened or will happen - however the whole sports betting thing has kinda peaked my interest a bit.  I have never placed a wager before and I'm pretty certain that by the end of the football season I still will be a betting virgin.  My goal is to go through the games and analyze the picks that I would have made and keep track to find out where I would be by the end of the year.  Then to re-look at things next year and see if I'll take the plunge or just follow along pretending again.

So, with that being said - Here are the games that I would have placed money on in Week 2 if I were a betting man.
For this simulation I will be getting my odds from footballlocks just because when I did a Google search it was the first site to pop up.

Current NFL Record - 0-0-0

Week 2 Bets:

Pats vs Cards 48.5 - Over
Vikings vs Colts 45.5 Under
Saints -2.5 vs Panthers
Cowboys -3 vs Seahawks
49ers -7 vs Lions
Chargers -6.5 vs Titans

I think I'll stick with 6 of them today.

6 Years Old

Today, my boy is 6 years old.

Since the time I have moved to Vegas he has been the only constant in my life.  I got him in November 2006 when he was 2 months old.  Flown in from a Breeder of Silky's somewhere in the mid west or mid east or whatever the hell it is I got him from.
I've been through two different relationships in that period of time.  I've moved 7 times (soon to be 8) in those 6 years.  I've had 2 unbelievably close friends leave town, one move back into town and have lived with 5 different people over the course of these past 6 years.
However, the one constant is this little adorable long haired pillow fucking love of my life.

People come and go, places change but through it all the love of this puppy has remained.

Truth be told I cannot imagine my life without him.  He's there for me when I'm having a bad day. He's always happy to see me.  He doesn't care if I come home late smelling like cheep beer and cheaper women. He always greets me with excitement and puppy kisses.

Even when he got dressed in an ugly fucking sweater that he hated he forgave the offense.

So Monster, my buddy my pal.  My furry four legged child.  Thanks for being there through the good times and the bad.  Thanks for not running away when you were left home alone all day and the door was left ajar. Thanks for humping that stupid pillow in front of every guest who passes through our lives so they can laugh as you lick yourself senseless until you pass out with your puppy penis in your mouth (things just got weird huh?).

Here's to 6 more years!

First Impressions

Interview went well today - they all do.
I don't mean to sound conceited or whatever, but the fact is I have been doing this job long enough that I know what they are looking for.  A little pre-game coaching doesn't hurt either.  However, we all know it's not all truly about the interview no matter what lies you are spoon fed.

I felt great about my interview.  Much like every other time, as soon as I open my mouth and start talking all my nerves go away and I've got this great focus where I am glancing back and forth between the two people doing the interview and reading any reactions they might be giving off.

The way it works in my company is there is a set group of questions that they have to ask to every single person. There are two people giving the interview and they take turns asking the questions.  While I am talking they have to write down my responses in whatever amount of detail they need so that after all the interviews are done they can look back over everyone and start to pick out who gets to advance to the Store Manager round of the playoffs.

For the most part I went into huge detail and kept talking until they ran out of space to write down any more information.  If I stopped early and noticed that there was still some white space on their paper then I started speaking again so that they'd have to keep writing.  My ultimate goal is really to give them hand cramps, plain and simple.

At no time did I ever falter, was I ever too vague or were my answers incomplete so that they'd have to look at me to see if I'd continue to give more information without prompting.

After the interview was over the non HR manager asked me a few more questions (much like he did last time I went through this process with him) and I believe I nailed what they should be looking for with those questions too.  He gave me the normal "Well you know we..." and I cut him off and said "Have Seven hundred more interviews to give and will get back in touch with me once they are all done...."

He continued "... have another interview today and I think we have one on Friday.  If we choose you we'll be back in touch but that probably won't be until sometime next week."
I responded with "No problem there.  I've got a lot of work to do on a daily basis so I'll just keep on trucking and awaiting your eventual phone call."

The HR followed up by telling me that she definitely will be following up with me in the near future.

This leads me to believe that she either thinks I'd be a great person for the job or she wants to jump my bones, both of which I'm perfectly OK with.

However, upon getting back to work I find out that my arch nemesis also decided to apply for the position in order to follow his buddy to the other store.  Now I understand the look and tone that the manager rattled off the last bit of information to me.  It was pretty much "Well, thanks for coming in, blah blah fucking blah, wait for the rejection email and then move on with life..." which I think the HR noticed which is why she stepped in telling me that she would definitely follow up with me.

What it all boils down to is this - I feel like I just gave a perfect fake interview and I'm not exactly excited that I wasted my time.  Had I known about the other persons interview I would have turned mine down.  I don't want to go through all the emotions and preparation when it's just going to be a psuedo interview to satisfy the posting requirements.
So, good luck to him and I hope he gets the job because that will create an opening in my store which is really more convenient to me.

I already get treated like a manager there.  I already know what to expect and I know who works and who doesn't work.  I know where my training would have to go and who I can rely on.  I also know what managers of mine I can lean on and which ones to avoid and how much I can get away with.

Either way, I'll be happy once this is all said and done and I look forward to moving on to the next stage of my career.  One way or another this position is mine - it's just a matter of what store it will be in.

I'm leaving my PS3 on to download Double Dragon Neon overnight, which I'm told has a Megaman cameo.
I ate some hot chicken balls for dinner and washed it down with a beer.
I'm about to was down my beer with another beer.

Interview

I was told by my HR that I have an interview at another store tomorrow morning.  Kind of weird that they never called me to set it up and make sure that I'm actually available but I guess I can get over that fact.

There is good and bad about the position I'm interviewing for.  The good mainly being that it would put me back into a position of management and that I'd be making more money doing it.  The bad being that this is one of the few areas of the store that I am not familiar with. However, that being the case, that is also a positive because it's an opportunity to further my knowledge on my path upwards.

I've been through a ton of interviews at my company and been promoted quite a few times at this point.  I have a good understanding of what they are looking for answer wise and I generally have a great feel for what I should say based on the reactions that I am getting from the people giving the interviews.  However, every single time that I schedule an interview I still get nervous.

My stomach is currently turning just thinking about the probable questions that I am going to be getting tomorrow even though I know what they are, how to answer them and know one of the people giving the interview who has previously told me that he had no issues with any of my answers (my last interview).

My HR told me that she played me up big time when they called the store to ask about me and whether or not they should interview me.  My store manager told me to take the interview because (paraphrasing) it's about time I move back up into a management in the company instead of my current and previous positions.

So, I've got a huge vote of confidence from everyone I have talked to thus far and yet there is still a gnawing in the pit of my stomach.  

I truly hate that feeling. I'm the type who generally does not get nervous over anything.  Just go and perform and the results will follow.  I think it's the fact that I know in advance that I'm going to have to go through it and I over think everything and work myself up for no reason at all.

With that being said - I'm going to go watch some Dexter and get some sleep.

I leave you all with a picture of my girlfriends Vagina!

It's like throwing a hot dog down a hallway :(

Nine One One

Today is one of those days in American history that will always be remembered.
Every month should have one.  We've got Pearl Harbor in December, We've got MLK earlier in the year and September we have 911.

So, to honor the occasion properly I will be going to work (Just like I did the 1st time) and looking forward to leaving.  However, on the way to and fro:
The whole reason this day is celebrated - Chuck D and Flava Flav

An Assortment

My good buddy Jason is a huge die-hard Bengals fan who scored tickets to the Monday Night Football game against the Ravens.
Right now it's 41-13 and I'm pretty sure he's miserable as fuck sitting there and watching his team, whom he had huge expectations for, get walked on by the Ravens as if they were playing the Cleveland Browns.
Ouch

At a meeting with a bunch of my peers at work I had my store manager compliment my writing style and the way I convey my messages and then tell me, in front of everyone, that I should probably be a professional blogger.  Thought that was a cool vote of confidence.

One game does not make a season.  The Steelers might have lost the first game but I'm cool with that.  They lost the first game last year and still made it to the playoffs.  Manning looks like he didn't take any fucking time off, the guy is sick and deserves to own every passing record there is.
Once again the offensive line decided to crumble during the game, losing both the Right Tackle and the Right Guard during the game and having to play with two back-ups.  You cannot win in this league if you cannot keep your guys healthy enough - especially the big dogs who protect the quarterback.  This is a QB driven league.

VonMiller is as good as advertised, he makes you look silly.  Reminds me of Freeney when he was younger.

My Strat team has a decent start to the year but only one performance that screams amazing.  Spiller filling in for an injured Jackson did a great job and will have 4-5 more weeks where he gets almost all the touches.  Hoping he can continue to put up good numbers during that time. Rashad Jennings, who I really had high hopes for, decided to blow his opportunity by getting injured which brought MJWhaaaa in to get a bunch of touches.
Tom Brady was Tom Brady, my receivers got a few catches and no one really stood out on Defense.
Worilds had a sack which was nice, one of my Defensive Ends had a sack and one of my Defensive Tackles also grabbed a sack.
The only horse I have in the late game tonight is Ronnie Brown for the Chargers.  Hope he breaks out with a good 25 touches and 120 yards rushing, but I'm not expecting it!

Today was my first (and only this week) day off after working the past 15 days straight.

My Manhole is protected.

Finally - today is my parents 26th year wedding anniversary!  Twenty Six Fucking years of putting up with each-others shit, bitching and moaning, fighting and making up and mostly importantly 26 years of unconditional love.
These two fine people are the reason why I am who I am and I can never thank them enough for the love and support they have shown me over the course of my few years of existence.
At the end of this month they will be moving one more time, One FINAL time and I hope that I get to see their 50th anniversary.
I hope that one day I am lucky enough to find someone to put up with my shit for even a decade let alone 26 years!

Pennsylvania Get-a-way 2013

OK, I need to seriously start planning this if it's ever going to happen.
So - sometime in 2013 I will be heading back to the greater Pennsylvania area and trying to visit with as many of my creepy (and maybe not so creepy) friends as possible.

However, since I have moved a lot and all of my peoples are pretty spread out it is going to take some good foreskin (forethought?) and planning on my end.

What I am requesting from others is if everyone will let me know what area's they currently live in and if there are certain time frames that are better for y'all?

Via Text, Facebook, email, whatever.
This is going to be a slow process to make sure I have it all planned out so that I can make the most of my time visiting all of you lovely peoples.

I will start actual planning in October after I am moved and settled but what I do know currently is....

Area's of importance.
Pittsburgh
Punxsy
Erie
York
DC/Virginia/Baltimore

I might have to buy a map :)

Gay Marriage and the NFL

Now, I did not author any of the below.  But sometimes you come across something that just makes you take notice and you say to yourself "Self, why the fuck didn't I think of that?"

This is one of those occasions.

The set up is this.
Baltimore Ravens NFL Star Brendon Ananbadejo is in support of Gay Marriage.
Maryland state delegate Emmett C. Burns Jr decided he hates the gays and wrote a letter to the owners of the Ravens telling them that they should shut their little gay supporting negro up because he's giving the straights a bad name (unlike what is to follow, these are my words).

So, Punter and wordsmith extraordinaire Chris Kluwe (Minnesota Vikings) who happens to have a gay brother (or something) wrote a letter to the Maryland delegate giving him the what-for.

This letter was published on Deadspin.com and is being pasted below.
I give full credit to Chris Kluwe and Deadspin for this article, I just want my small section of the universe to read it as well.

Baltimore Ravens linebacker Brendon Ayanbadejo has spoken out in favor of a Maryland ballot initiative that would legalize gay marriage. Yahoo has published a letter that Maryland state delegate Emmett C. Burns Jr. wrote last week to Ravens owner Steve Bisciotti, urging him to "inhibit such expressions from your employee." This is Minnesota Vikings punter Chris Kluwe's response to Burns.

Dear Emmett C. Burns Jr.,

I find it inconceivable that you are an elected official of Maryland's state government. Your vitriolic hatred and bigotry make me ashamed and disgusted to think that you are in any way responsible for shaping policy at any level. The views you espouse neglect to consider several fundamental key points, which I will outline in great detail (you may want to hire an intern to help you with the longer words):

1. As I suspect you have not read the Constitution, I would like to remind you that the very first, the VERY FIRST Amendment in this founding document deals with the freedom of speech, particularly the abridgment of said freedom. By using your position as an elected official (when referring to your constituents so as to implicitly threaten the Ravens organization) to state that the Ravens should "inhibit such expressions from your employees," more specifically Brendon Ayanbadejo, not only are you clearly violating the First Amendment, you also come across as a narcissistic fromunda stain. What on earth would possess you to be so mind-boggingly stupid? It baffles me that a man such as yourself, a man who relies on that same First Amendment to pursue your own religious studies without fear of persecution from the state, could somehow justify stifling another person's right to speech. To call that hypocritical would be to do a disservice to the word. Mindfucking obscenely hypocritical starts to approach it a little bit.

2. "Many of your fans are opposed to such a view and feel it has no place in a sport that is strictly for pride, entertainment, and excitement." Holy fucking shitballs. Did you seriously just say that, as someone who's "deeply involved in government task forces on the legacy of slavery in Maryland"? Have you not heard of Kenny Washington? Jackie Robinson? As recently as 1962 the NFL still had segregation, which was only done away with by brave athletes and coaches daring to speak their mind and do the right thing, and you're going to say that political views have "no place in a sport"? I can't even begin to fathom the cognitive dissonance that must be coursing through your rapidly addled mind right now; the mental gymnastics your brain has to tortuously contort itself through to make such a preposterous statement are surely worthy of an Olympic gold medal (the Russian judge gives you a 10 for "beautiful oppressionism").

3. This is more a personal quibble of mine, but why do you hate freedom? Why do you hate the fact that other people want a chance to live their lives and be happy, even though they may believe in something different than you, or act different than you? How does gay marriage, in any way shape or form, affect your life? If gay marriage becomes legal, are you worried that all of a sudden you'll start thinking about penis? "Oh shit. Gay marriage just passed. Gotta get me some of that hot dong action!" Will all of your friends suddenly turn gay and refuse to come to your Sunday Ticket grill-outs? (Unlikely, since gay people enjoy watching football too.)

I can assure you that gay people getting married will have zero effect on your life. They won't come into your house and steal your children. They won't magically turn you into a lustful cockmonster. They won't even overthrow the government in an orgy of hedonistic debauchery because all of a sudden they have the same legal rights as the other 90 percent of our population—rights like Social Security benefits, child care tax credits, Family and Medical Leave to take care of loved ones, and COBRA healthcare for spouses and children. You know what having these rights will make gays? Full-fledged American citizens just like everyone else, with the freedom to pursue happiness and all that entails. Do the civil-rights struggles of the past 200 years mean absolutely nothing to you?

In closing, I would like to say that I hope this letter, in some small way, causes you to reflect upon the magnitude of the colossal foot in mouth clusterfuck you so brazenly unleashed on a man whose only crime was speaking out for something he believed in. Best of luck in the next election; I'm fairly certain you might need it.

Sincerely,
Chris Kluwe

P.S. I've also been vocal as hell about the issue of gay marriage so you can take your "I know of no other NFL player who has done what Mr. Ayanbadejo is doing" and shove it in your close-minded, totally lacking in empathy piehole and choke on it. Asshole.

48 hours later

Finally, after 48 hours it appears to all be over with.  Yesterday there were periods of relief followed by periods of "haha, fooled you fucker." as my skull was forcing my brain to make a screaming and hissing noise.

Over the last two days I received a lot of funny looks when I answered questions incorrectly with information that was not pertaining to the conversation or I asked questions about things that have been discussed as recently as 3 minutes ago.  My mind was not able to focus on anything at all. I could not form long term thoughts and I couldn't put the pieces of a simple puzzle together.

Thankfully it appears as though the demons are gone and I'll be able to function as a normal human being again.  There is, after all, beer to drink tonight!

Tomorrow will be day 14 in a row and then, praise jebus, there will be a day of rest and relax....er, football. Oh Glorious NFL Football you have come back to me in the purest sense.
The 1st 3 time slots of the season are all just a tease, a ball tickle.  Cowboys vs Giants - last years Super Bowl winners vs 2 decades ago America's Team.
Sunday 10 am slot is going to have a few good battles with a bunch of match-ups that are not really showing drama or fun at all.  There is nothing compelling going on there at all.
The 1pm slot is going to have a great match-up with Green Bay taking on San Fran.  Is the Packers offense up to par and picking up where they left off?  How is San Fran's Defense going to hold up this year after being such a dominant force last year?  This is going to be a great game (hopefully).

Then, there is the reason I exist - The Pittsburgh Steelers.
They will be taking on the Denver Bronco's in a rematch of last years playoff Hoax!  This time Peyton leads the Bronco's offense which will actually make them a threat for the full game instead of just the last 15 minutes.  Will the Steelers D sputter out of the gates like they did last year against Baltimore or will they show up with something to prove?  How will Mike Wallace look after taking off the pre-season?  How is the father to be going to connect to Antonio Brown against the really good Bronco's D and how many hits will it take from Woodley to rattle Manning?

I can't F'n Wait!!!!!


AMERICA!!!!!
Are you ready for some Football?

Let the Demons out PuhLease

Today I woke up somewhere around 4:30 am.
There was a pain in my head, my shoulders were tense.
I knew at that very moment that the rest of my day was going to be spent in pain and there was nothing I could do about it - but that didn't stop me from trying.
I got up and took monster out for a quick piss.
Upon getting back into the apartment I grabbed a water and some Tylenol and downed the entire bottle (of the former, not the latter). I tried to get some shut-eye.
The rest of my "sleep" was restless and my dreams sucked.
By the time I awoke permanently around 6:30 my head was feeling worse.  Searching my brain for ways to fight a nasty headache I decided to try a banana and some caffeine, a Rock Star.
I also downed a Mt Dew on the way to work along with a muffin and a sausage patty.

Let me digress a bit here.  Burger king sucks when it comes to breakfast food.  Their muffin with sausage and cheese pretty much sucks compared to the McDonalds McMuffin.  McD's has better sausage and there is something better about even the muffin portion of the meal.  There is also the fact that McD's has probably one of the best (worse for you) breakfast foods ever invented in their McGriddle.  I feel my McArteries hardening when eating them but McDammit if they aren't McTasty.  Sausage surrounded by two pancakes with the syrup baked right into them?  How can anyone not McLove that shit?
Also, their Hash Brown is MUCH better than the BK Hash Browns.  I love the big greasy patty hash brown over the small bite sized tater tot versions that BK has.  However, if they want back to Cheesy Tots then all bets are off as those things were fucking delicious.  Everything I ever love goes away, including Cheesy Tots.

When I got to work I drank another bottle of water and then I hit up a large bottle of Gatorade.  The electrolytes didn't do shit for me.  The water did nothing either.  It is apparent to me that this is no ordinary headache, it's not a dehydration headache, it's not a hangover headache, it's pretty much a "just fuck with serge" headache.

Nothing I have done all day long has given me any relief.  It's a dull throbbing all day long surrounded by periods of intense pain.  I don't think it's a migraine because I don't have a sensitivity to light - in a dark room I felt no relief and felt no different than when I was outside in the bright ass sun.

So, here I sit - over 18 hours later - cracking another Diet Dew and popping some more Tylenol like an addict even though they haven't done any good all day long and they won't now.  It's just the thought that if I'm not doing something then I'm doing it wrong.  However - this probably means that I'm crazy.
Crazy, by definition, is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.
This is what I have done today - what a fucking idiot I am sometimes.  Lock me up and throw away the butt-plug.
I'm hoping the magical headache fairy visits me tonight and takes this pain away.
Maybe while she's there she can give me a good wet dream to ending my slumber as well.

Anyone know of any good ideas/solutions/remedies for the next time this happens?
Please avoid any suggestions involving any aspirin products as I'm allergic and it fucks with my asthma.

grrouch out

I'm the Man

This version does not start and end with the famous Sam Kennison Scream but it's still one of the best versions on YouTube in the small amount of time that I searched.

Woke up with a headache and this in my head - Can't get it out.
Love this song!

Extreme Midget Wrestling

Last night I was invited to go along to watch some good old Midget Wrestling and how in the bloody hell can anyone turn down an offer to watch violence between multiple little people?
Well, the answer is that you can't and I didn't and thus I began planning my trip to the Riviera.
I pulled up the Bravo Poker App and saw that there was also an honest to goodness live poker game going on so I decided to go buy-in for a small amount and just play for a few hours until the show started.
The table had 2 open seats when I sat and later the last one was filled up. After about 45 minutes or so the entire table just got up and left almost all simultaneously, damned locals.
Well, actually we dropped to 3 handed with 2 others taking a very long bathroom break I guess.
Played 3 and 4 handed for about 45 minutes before everyone just decided to give up.  During this time I doubled the money in front of me and in the end left a $119 winner, basically paying for my entrance into the Midget Wrestling show.

There are only 8 wrestlers but that didn't make it any less awesome.
There was also maybe the most gorgeous red head I have ever seen in my entire life at the show, but I didn't get any pictures of her so sadly I won't be posting them.

I took a bunch of pics of the mini's in and out of the ring and I realize that they aren't great quality but dammit I'm showing the world anyways.

Weight Loss Day 84

12 weeks into this thing and I'm still maintaining.  3 months. Not too shabby if I do say so myself.
This week I gained 0.2 pounds and tipped the scales at 266 which I'm going to consider a win right now.  Last week was the first time my cycle didn't involve getting back up to 268 by Sunday and this week I was actually able to maintain that which means that this new found 2 pounds should be permanent and it is time to work on getting below 265.

Actually, my real goal is to get below 260 by the time my company arrives at the end of September.  The last week is going to be jam packed with whatever the hell I decide to do especially since I'll be on vacation during most of it.

Once again I have started to try and work simple exercises into my "sit at home on my fat ass and do nothing all day long" routine because every bit helps right?  Last time I did this I started with push-ups and the routine I was doing was all wrong for me, I didn't show a whole lot of progress and I ended up spraining my wrist at work which killed it for about a week or longer.  By the time my wrist was ready to go again I had given up on the idea.  So, I promise nothing but I'm trying again!

Being that I'm too lazy to track down the actual post I cannot pin point exactly who said what but I know when I first started talking about push-ups, and strength building exercises in general, there was a debate about certain systems and what worked and what didn't.  It was either ~Chuck or Fboyyyyyyy who came forth and suggested a method of just maxing out on whatever the desired exercise it is you are doing. Go balls to the wall and push yourself until you physically cannot do it again.  Repeat this 3 or so times over the course of a day and then take the next day off.  Repeat this cycle every other day.
And this is what I have decided to do this time around.  So, as I started back up this past week my first day I just used as a "benchmark" to see how truly week I am and maxed out at 6.
Yes - 6, Six.  No more and no less.  Weak and pathetic.  Whatever, we all have to start somewhere.  Point is much like the magical number of 300 pounds it's going to be a laughing point in the past where I look back and am like "wtf, seriously?"
My first week of it I did two sets every day mostly because my first real day off I was really feeling it. My shoulders were tense, my muscles were tight. I knew that I worked them pretty damned hard.

Week 1 went something like this
Day 1 - 10 in the Morning 10 in the Afternoon (Was going to do 3 but was really feeling it)
Day 2 - 10 in the Morning 12 in the Evening
Day 3 - 13 in the Morning 14 in the Afternoon
Day 4 - 16 in the Morning 14 in the Afternoon 14 in the Evening
Today is my day of rest.
I was quite happy that I was able to complete 3 sets yesterday and am actually looking forward to my push-up days.  Thinking about doing sit-ups during my off days just so I have a full routine every week and take Sunday's off because dammit - Football starts next Sunday

I think 3 weeks has been my record for trying to keep up with a push-up/sit-up routine. I'm now entering week 2 so lets see if I can stick with this like I have stuck with my commitment to actually losing weight.

Stay Skinny my Friends!