grrouchie

G is for grrouchie and that's good enough for me.
Actually, it's not good enough for me as today I'm going to take you on a stroll down memory lane.

By the time I hit college my computer usage skills were regulated to an old antiquated (even for the time) POS with no hard drive and everything had to be done on floppies - the 5.25 kind.
When I first started college, in order to crank out my papers I had a Brother type writer that took floppies so that I could save the data.  it had a small green/black screen where I could type all my crap into and see it on the screen and when I was ready I could hit Print and that thing would go for like 3 days to print 10 pages.  However, it worked for as long as I used it.

Having nothing to do with anything but a great story that I like to share.
One evening I was sitting down and churning out a paper and talking to my future roomie MTT who was in the room beside me (the walls were thin and you could carry on a conversation through the lighting fixtures) and my current roomie was doing some Karaoke with two friends he had over.   So here I am trying to be creative and come up with some good things to write while I had Tupac, Dre and Eazy E Juniors surrounding me and spitting out rhymes.

A few minutes into their fun one of the guys is rambling about something which I will never remember when he comes up with the phrase "And my main nigga serge is on the Type-Wryter."
I don't believe I was the chorus, but I was a key component that evening.

The next day I walk into my accounting class and MTT is already sitting there waiting.  I approach my seat and he greets me with "Wazzup (remember those commercials) my main nigga serge - on the type - wryyyyter"
Ahh yes.  The only white nigga on campus, at least for the next months worth of ribbings.
However, it was all good because eventually the unbelievably hot Puerto Rican babe that moved into the room with me made life so much more pleasant and interesting.
God I miss Milli - used to sneak her into our showers so she could clean up and then she'd towel off and get dressed and sit in the room in nothing but a wife beater.
dirty thoughts
dirty thoughts
dirty thoughts with mike rowe

Where was I?
Oh - yeah, I had a story to tell and Milli went and ruined it all.

So, eventually i started hitting up the computer lab with MTT and we discovered Mirc - internet chatting.  I'd avoided AOL (except when getting hacked accounts and fucking with people's love lives - but that's another day I guess).  So we found a chat room/channel/whatever they were called - where we had some friends and continued to talk to them for years actually.  (I've only met one person from those days and that was a fun evening).

At first I was Beavis (nickname in high school)but after a while I wanted to go with something that was more akin to my personality and I decided upon Groucho Marx.

You see, I love Groucho and have been big into the Marx Brothers since 9th grade or so.  I would look at the TV guide every week (remember when it was a print publication?) and check out all the classic channels for any Marx Brothers movies being played and I would plan my days around them.
I started checking out books from the Library about Groucho and his brothers.
When college came I started ordering some books as well and eventually ended up with a Groucho tat!
Rob can attest to the fact that it's well done and is the ONLY person I have ever run into who knew where the picture came from when I explained it.  All Hail Rob!!!

Groucho being a popular icon to many people I would sometimes run into situations where that name was already registered.  So, this is when I decided to be unique and add the 2nd "R" into my handle.

After probably 6 or 7 months and developing real friendships with some people online one person who I still kinda sorta keep in contact with (and I have been thinking about her for a few months now - gotta send her an email again) started calling me grouchie every time we'd talk.
Hey Grrrrroouchie
Oh look its grouchie
whatever, but always ie instead of o
After awhile I decided to adopt the moniker instead of using grroucho because I kind of got tired of explaining who Groucho was to people of my generation (and getting the "the Stooges are better" line of bullshit that only stupid people believe).

And thus, grrouchie (never capitalized) was born.

Kinda boring, I know - but whatever.  Every handle has a history and mine was formed partially because of my love of Groucho Marx and partially because a hot Asian chick called me grrouchie instead.


Now, Groucho Quotes.

Women should be obscene and not heard.
Outside a dog, a book is mans best friend. Inside a dog it's too dark to read.
I could dance with you until the cows come home. On second thought, I'd rather dance with the cows until you come home.
I never forget a face, in your case I'd be glad to make an exception.
A man's only as old as the woman he's feeling.

My favorite was on an episode of You Bet Your Life where he was interviewing a a guy who had a lot of kids (I don't know the number so I'll make that up).
Groucho: It says here that you have a lot of children.
Guy: yes, 8 to be exact.
Groucho: Wow, that's an awful lot of children. What made you decide to have that many
Guy: Well Groucho, I really love my wife.
Groucho: Well, I really love my cigar but I take it out every now and then.

Funniest man to ever exist

F You!

Today we have our first Special Guest Post of the month and kicking it off is MissingFlops.
I'd give a better intro but I just spend the last 12 hours sleeping and have to run to work!!!





Well I’m happy to lead off the guest posting for grrouchie’s alphabet project. Grrouchie
assigned me the letter F which is, of course a letter rife with possibilities. It occurred to me that F could
stand for Football, but I’m a Seahawks fan, he is a Steelers fan and that was just going to lead to some
very dark places. F could also stand for Friends which has been one of the side benefits of blogging
and playing poker. Since poker is a common bond for most of the readers here I thought I could talk
about Folding which may in fact be the most important poker skill there is. Of course, F obviously makes
one consider the various ways to center a post around certain adult activities … who knows, perhaps
Grrouchie assigned me this letter in the hopes that I’d deliver a post talking all about salacious activities.
I’ll admit that I considered doing so for a moment, but in the end I decided that F stands for Feline and
that I am going to tell you the story of my cat.

Ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce you to Posh.

Posh is a male cat who is around 13 or 14 years old. I first met Posh due to Mrs.
Flops, who back then wasn’t Mrs. Flops. In fact, back then – I was in the dreaded friend zone. At the
time I was living in a rented condo and the not yet, but eventually Mrs. Flops had recently moved in to
share the place with me. She had brought along with her two cats that had been her pets for a while.
This was an interesting development as the terms of my lease were pretty clear that pets weren’t
allowed. The two cats were well behaved though, confined their bodily functions to the litter box and
didn’t cause any trouble.

Now Posh was not one of the aforementioned cats. Really, that would be kind of a boring story.
No, Posh was actually the subject of a call I got from my new roomie a few months later. It seemed she
was walking out to her car after work when a tiny face emerged from a bush that was next to her car. It
was a stray little kitten who apparently looked like it was much in need of a home. So that’s Posh right?
No, Posh was one of the three other little faces that emerged from the bush after the first one had
hooked in the Eventual Mrs. Flops. One of her work friends dashed into a nearby grocery store to get a
box to gather the brood in. Now what? Well, the Eventual Mrs. calls me at the office crying about how
she found these little kittens and they need a home and can’t we watch over them for a while? I don’t
know if she thought I was going to put up some resistance to the idea what with the lease situation and
all, but really, after you’ve crossed the line of breaking the lease by bringing in two full size cats, there
really isn’t any problem with bringing in four more, especially when they were small. So, I entered the
kitten rescue business.

We couldn’t get the new brood checked out at the vet till the next day, so to make sure there
weren’t any issues with them having any kind of disease that would get passed on to the previous two
cats we kept the kittens in a box with some blankets in the garage that evening. During the evening I
went down to check out the new arrivals. I looked into the box and one of the little ones looked up at
me and caught my eye. I reached in to give him a few pets and he played with my hands. Do you know
about imprinting? Well in that moment, Mr. Posh and I imprinted on each other.

Why Posh, you ask? Well that name was determined the next day at the vet’s office. We
had these four little ones wandering around the exam room while we were waiting and it was clear
that there was enough of a connection between the little ones that there should be some connection
involved in naming them. There were four of them, it was the late nineties and so it was pretty easy to
stumble on to … the Spice Kittens. Sure enough, we had a Baby, a Sporty, a Scary and a Mr. Posh (we
conveniently overlooked any gender implications of the names). Scary and Baby quickly found new
homes but Sporty, and of course Posh, remain with us to this day.

I can honestly say, I’ve never had a connection to an animal the way I have to him. He knows
when things aren’t going especially well for me, and during those times, he is always seeking me out to
cuddle. If I’m sitting somewhere he will usually come around looking to crawl up in my lap. It goes back
to that imprinting moment when he was in the box down in the garage. I looked down into that box, he
looked up at me and he chose me pure and simple. I am his human – sometimes he lets me think he is
my cat. I get sad now and then because I’m realizing that I’ve had more time with him in the past than
I am going to have in the future, but when those thoughts creep into my head I just try and push them
out. He’s still in great shape and still loves to run around the house and play. I know he’ll be around for
a while longer and I know that regardless of how long he is here he will always be my boy.

Everybody

E is for Everybody. (written last night)

My past two days have been full of more action than I generally like to cram into my days.
Yesterday was the new routine of wake up at 4:30 am, shower and head to work.  After work run to class and get some quality stick time in.  Then after that was Dinner with the ex and The Hunger Games(I'd totally forgotten about the movie part).  I was tired, really tired and run down and as such I was a bad dinner/movie guest.
Near the mid/end of the movie my Rockstar started to kick in and I gathered some life in me, however I still was bad company.

Today Started off the same with Work/class then home for dinner and tonight I'll be heading out to see Titanic.
I've never seen Titanic before and I really have never had the urge.  I still don't want to see it and I pretty much think that 3D is just a way to rape the consumers wallet more but whatever.

This would be so much better

One of the things that I am attempting to do this month is to step out of my comfort zone and see what kind of impact it has on my life.
My date tonight is someone I used to work with before changing stores.  Now that I work elsewhere we try to get together about once a month for a movie or for drinks and bitch about work for a short period of time and then catch up with how life has been treating each other.
I've drug her to a few movies that she really hated, or at least disliked portions of them and as such I'm OK with being drug to a movie that I've avoided for decades now.  It's this type of give and take that makes a friendship work.  Going to this gives me a free pass to drag her ass along to some bad horror movie where she'll bitch about the ending or about the lack of any romance in it.  (ED: after watching the previews this could be any number of movies - The Hobbit, Despicable Me 2, New Pixar Joint, etc)
And this movie I'm going to complain about the lack of any action and violence and only getting to see one boob (and the 3D better be f'ing stunning I tell you - I AM GOING to reach out and try to pinch the nipple).

So, instead of coming up with a topic and writing about it (I might throw the E in elsewhere if I come up with something later in the month when I have some down time) I've decided to take the day off and not write any post at all.

After all, Everybody needs a day off now and then.

Dreams

Before I pass out for the evening I needed to get something in.
However, D is a tough one for me.  I could go with my first name (when you post it Carmel I will delete it).
But nah.
I also thought about Dancing and dildos.  Not for long and not together though.

However, Carmel suggested dreams and when I mentioned that I rarely ever remember them she said "not that kind."

So, Dreams it is.

When I was a small child I had one reoccurring dream which was really a nightmare.  I was being chased by the incredible hulk.
Now you see kiddies (and I know most of you are older than I) what makes these dreams scarier is the time period.  Oh the hulk in his animated form is all cute and cuddly sometimes and then there are the two kinda sorta recent Hulk movies that came out where the hulk is this big CGI green guy who can jump over mountains and throw shit to the moon.  However, none of these versions is really that scary to be honest.

No, I was afraid of the scary hulk.  Lou F'n Ferrigno all painted green with his scary little fro and his ugly bulging muscles in that ripped pair of shorts.  THAT  was f'n scary.  And that was what haunted many dreams for me.

It started innocently enough where I was out in the park playing when I caught a glimpse of him and knew that I needed to escape.  So, I did what any reasonable kid would do in such a situation - I jumped on the swing and started rocking back and forth and kicking my feet for all their worth to go higher and higher and higher until I almost flipped over the bars.  At this point I let go and flew through the air landing on my porch and ran inside as quickly as I could.
Inside my older girl crush babysitter was waiting for me and making popcorn while I was trying to block the door as much as possible. She kept asking what was the matter and all I could say is that "he" was coming for me.  Finally after a few good bashes the door busts open and there he stands, big tall and ugly and this is always the exact moment where I woke up and was glad that Lou was just imaginary.

Look at those damned Eyebrows. How can you not be scared?

My second dream is a little bit more on the strange side and I had this one during my teenage years.

I was walking through my neighborhood when I decided to pay my friend a visit.  I walked up the steps to his porch and knocked on his door.

His mother answered but she was no longer a human, she was a Sea-Monkey.

In a panic I took a step back and noticed his step-father coming to the door a Sea-Monkey as well.  I turned away from both of them and the whole neighborhood was actually Sea-Monkey people which set my mind spinning.

I jumped over the railing from his porch to get away from the creepiness and landed squarely in a Frying Pan.

And this is where I woke up every time.

My third (and final) reoccurring dream probably doesn't describe well but it unsettles the fuck out of me.

I've only had 3 dreams my whole life that I know for a fact reoccur and this is the only one that has also lasted into adulthood (though it's really rare).  I'm assuming it's caused by stress.

A lone marble rolls down a straight pathway (I'm seriously starting to feel weird just thinking about this and typing it by the way - my description probably will be shit and I wish you all could see my mental image and everything else that goes with it).  The rest of everything is dark - as if the marble has a spotlight on it or just radiates light. 

Everything is going smooth for a while and then things slowly start to get a bit chaotic.

Remember that scene from The Ring where the creepy chick is in the tv - then there is a glitch and she is no longer where she was.  Then she keeps "glitching" and moving and eventually coming out of the TV?

Well, this scene is very similar to that.  The marble glitches and breaks its course and with every glitch the marble gains speed.  At the same time this is happening there is background noise.  Mostly voices but nothing you can make out.  Picture a scene where there are 100 people standing in a room holding random conversations and you spot your friend who is trying to shout something to you.  You stand there trying to make out that one voice with all of the others going on around you and You think you can almost make something out but you never catch any of it.  Now picture your friend "glitching" to different locations of the room and you have to quickly scan the room and find out where he is to try to catch his voice so that you can get a clue to some very important puzzle but every time you think you are about to get some where - BAM another glitch to elsewhere.

This would be kind of similar I guess.  The faster the marble goes the more it glitches, the more voices are added into the mix and the more my mind starts to race and the less sense it all makes Until everything is ONe big fucking SounD waVE jumping arOUNd spORaDICally and your brain staRTS twiTcHing ranDOOMly because tihgns ARE getTnIG too HECtiC but you KNOw tHaT akj;lsdfkla;sdf

FUCK

JESUS CHRIST SHUT THE BRAIN OFF
MALFUNCTION
MALFUNCTION
MALFUNCTION

And that is where I wake up, very uneasy. Very disorientated and it takes a few moments to actually figure out where I am and if it's OK to move but the uneasy feeling generally stays with me for a while.

In fact, I now don't know if I'm going to be able to fall asleep like I had planned (after hitting the publish button) because just thinking about that really messes with me.
Weird shit man

Cavities and Credit Cards

I have nothing else so Cavities and Credit Cards
I thought about saving this entry for G for Grill! but nah.
Then Waffles started asking questions about my teeth and Blammo
This is my Story!

The great Waffles requested the story about my teeth and I feel the need to deliver.

In order to get to the point where my pretty smile is now you have to go back multiple years to a time when my smile was horrible and kept out of the view of the public.

You see, I've always had bad teeth.  My whole life I've had different teeth issues no matter what I did and as such I kind of gave up on them.  Before I moved to Vegas I had two (or 3?) extractions because I was too poor to be able to afford the root canal to save the tooth.  I also had a wisdom tooth on the top that at one point had cracked and broke while I was eating a pretzel.  However, there was no pain and so I ignored the tooth which eventually broke away until it was almost hidden beneath the skin.  I had multiple dentists tell me it should be removed but I held to my stance that if there was no pain there was no extraction.

I had two teeth abscess on me during my college years which was horribly painful (these were two of the removed teeth).

Then, to top it all off, I had some issues where my teeth just started to rot away on the outside near the gum line which caused me to never want to smile.

When I moved to Vegas I decided that this big change in my life deserved other big changes and so I ended up going to a dentist who gave me the same bad news that others have - my mouth was a horrible place and needed a fuck-ton of work done.  I told him that I was more than aware of the fact and that is when he brought in the Big Guns, Natasha.

I have said before in my blog that the office is going to miss this girl.  I still, to this day, do not know what exactly it was about here.  It could have been the accent for all I know.  She was a pretty lady but nothing that you'd find gracing the cover of My Wet Dreams weekly. She just had a knack for talking to people (I assume it was others and not just me) and she was able to break things down to make them seem very reasonable.  After he conversation with me I opened up a G.E. Carecredit card and let the charging begin.

So began a miserable 3 month experience for me.  We started off with root canals on the teeth that were good enough to save and then moved on to the porcelain caps for the ones that were pretty awful.  Throw in a bridge to cover one of my "gaps" and blammo - a f'n million dollar smile.   Getting to this point was the shitty part.

Ever get a root canal?  The thrill of the dentist taking a fucking Dewalt drill to your mouth and going ape shit on you.  Then pulling out the small Geiger counter looking device which detects depth and attaching it to a needle which he then will press with all of his unholy might into your skull until the counter decides to say "BEEP BEEP I THINK WE JUST NAILED A ROOT MOTHERFUCKER."

Ok, so that about sums up the process of a root canal nicely.

Now imagine getting about 10 of those all at once because that's about the hell I went through.

Multiple per visit spread out over about 3 months worth of visits.  dreading each visit more and more as time went on.  Tired of having my mouth and face sore, tired of being shot up with Novocaine and not being able to eat properly.  Oh lord was it fun.

However, the root canal's were all just a minor inconvenience for what was to come.  The caps/crowns/whatever you want to call them.  This is where the real hell of my story came in.

Because some of you might now know I'll tell you the process that they go through to put these crowns on your real teeth.

The first thing they do is numb the shit out of you.  Now, let me tell you that I'm slow to numb and it usually takes a few extra shots in order to get me to the point where they can do all their work without it wearing off - and that means that it's a lot like Juicy Fruit because it lasts an extra extra extra long time.

So you're fully numb and feeling not a damn thing and playing games with your saliva like lets try to suck this back into my mouth before it runs down my chin and all over my chest. 

Then the dentist brings out the grinding machines and proceeds to grind your teeth down to pointy vampire stubs (but smaller) where almost all of your tooth is actually removed except enough to throw some glue on and hold the crown.

At this point they have to prepare your mouth for the crown - This is an exceptionally fun portion of our show.

In order the prepare your mouth they have to push your gums away from what is left of your actual teeth. To do this they grab some medieval torture device and physically stick it between your gums and teeth to separate it, then take a piece of cloth or cotton or some other fabric which should never be in your body and  cram it into the new space that they have created - This causes your gums to stay wide open.

Then when they have the temporary crown ready they place it over your teeth to make sure it fits well and go back with the torture device to remove the fabric from the inside of your gums.  From here they use some temporary cement that smells awful and tastes like shit to affix the temps and allow you to leave telling you to not eat or drink anything hot or cold until you get the full amount of feeling back in your face.

What I have yet to mention in the above about my past is that my teeth have always been sensitive.  For most of my life I have used Aquafresh for sensitive teeth and that has worked pretty well.  However I was in for a whole new level of sensitivity.

Apparently there was not a great seal between the gum area and the new temporary fake tooth area because everything was causing me a great amount of pain.  Breathing cool air in through my teeth cause pain.

Cold water was pretty much the equivalent of sticking myself with with a splinter right up my gum line repeatedly.

For the two - three week period (which felt like a god damned lifetime) I had to take extreme caution with everything I did.  If I drank something it had to be luke warm.  I couldn't eat anything hot or cold.  I couldn't breathe air in through my mouth the wrong way.  I was in agonizing fucking pain at various times throughout every day.  It sucked more than most things have ever sucked before.

Then, finally, my crowns were done and I got to head in for one final painful visit.

The numbing, yanking off the temporary, stretching my gums out with an implement of destruction and stuffing them with whatever - Fitting the permanent and finally cementing it into place.

After a week or so the pain all went away and I pretended that the past 3 or so months of pure hell never existed because I had a pretty f'n smile for the first time in maybe ever.

That is the tale of all the major work that was done and all at once.  In all I had 7 teeth on the top removed and replaced with a crown and 14 bazillion root canals.

All in all that first round of fun cost me somewhere in the neighborhood of $10k out of pocket (or should I say on plastic) and the insurance picked up the rest.  When I finally paid the damned thing off and officially owned the fake teeth in my mouth is right around the time that I finally worked up the courage to go back to the dentist to start the process over again.

However, this last time there was a lot less work that needed done and therefore a lot less expensive (still too much money though).  One more crown, a couple more root canals, two wisdom teeth extractions and they really really want to put an implant in one of my holes but after dealing with the 2 weeks of pain from when they drilled out the fucking bone in my skull and stuffed it with whatever the hell that shit was to prep the area, I really think there is no way I'll put myself through the hell of getting an implant.

I was told that most people have some minor pain for about a week, however mine lasted over two weeks and the only thing that helped even the slightest was overdosing on anti inflammatories which are actually bad for me because they bring on asthma attacks.  There were times that I was in so much pain that I couldn't stop shaking.  Those two weeks were pure hell especially since I was at work during the most painful times.

So, 6 years later and approx $15k worth of work alter my teeth are mostly fake but I own them dammit.

I spent more money on my teeth than my car and that's pretty damned sad if you ask me.

Any questions?

Evening Update

Jane you ignorant slut!

After work today I'm driving towards class when the teach calls me and asks me what happened.
I gave a brief explanation and told her I could go into better detail soon as I'd be in class shortly.

When I got there she took me to the side and asked me what happened and I gave her a very unbiased opinion of the whole situation.
I was a bit nervous, I was slow because the stick was awkward and also the info about how the other dealers were not booking bets and only some little old lady next to me was doing it.
Teach told me that the other two people who were sent to audition on Friday night both got turned away.
The chick got turned away because they didn't have a record that she was supposed to audition and the guy was told to go home because his black pants were too tight.
All of this was with the same pit boss that let me be on stick for a total of like 4 dice rolls.

After hearing that I feel a bit better because it's seems the guy is an old curmudgeon and I wasn't the only one who got the short end of the stick.

Oh well - you live and learn.

Now I have to work on lining up my future auditions for my future job and do a better job of kicking ass and taking prop bets.

My A-Z entry might end up being late tomorrow instead of early because my first day of waking up at 4:30 am has me a bit wore down.
Also, anyone who requested a letter - I replied to all and handed them out.

Bounce Back

Yeah - not the most creative use of our 2nd letter in the alphabet.  I could have gone with Brass, Boo or Balls (all words in which I have thought of at least a paragraph worth of material).

However as I sat here this evening looking for something to type (Typed it the day before I'm posting it, not very spontaneous of me eh?) I was at a loss until Bounce Back flooded my mind.

You see, life will not always deal you winners.  You cannot always smell like roses, it's not possible.  Life is going to give you peaks and valleys and it's how you handle both of those that will determine your character.
The peaks are obviously easier to handle - that's your moment, your time in the sun so to speak.  How are you going to deal with your time to shine and how will you deal with that time when it no longer exists?

However, it's the valleys, the low's that I'm more concerned with at the moment.  How do you deal with a blow to the ego?  How do you find a way to dig down and pick yourself back up off the pavement to continue along the path you were already traveling.

I'm not good with rejection and this has played a big role in my life.  You see, the fear of rejection has caused me to not attempt relationships with women over the course of my life.  No matter how close I have become with some and no matter what kind of chemistry that I thought existed - I have avoided actually making any moves to take the relationship to that next level and that has left me cold and alone in the friend-zone for most of my life.  All because I don't know how to handle the rejection if I'm turned down.

However this also carries over into other aspects of life.  Fear of being turned down for a promotion for instance. Or fear of trying something new - which is the point at which I am in my life.

Over time I try small things to try to get over my fears and internationalism (that's the word spell check told me to use, I hope it fits).
I have a horrible fear of needles and that is the main reason I got my first Tattoo.  I knew I wanted one but taking the step to actually get it and face my fear was big.  In fact, I ended up passing out during that session. Blood sugar dropped, sweating like a pig, faint and dizzy and then complete black out sitting on the chair in the middle of a shop with other people around.  I don't know how long I was out for but I woke up feeling embarrassed as shit and I wanted to run.  However I downed some Mt Dew and when I started feeling better the guy finished me off and all was good in the world.  Those damned needles just ate at my brain until I couldn't take it any more.  I've got chills thinking about it.

Now, I am at a point in my life where I am trying to change career paths and my fears are strong in me.  Saturday night was very hard on me.  Getting to my audition didn't bother me at all.  Tapping another dealer out and taking their place didn't bother me at all (so I thought).  However I felt out of place standing there and trying to push the dice around.  The stick felt foreign in my hands and I couldn't control two dice to move them or push them around.  I felt like I had never done that in my life before (let alone spent the last month doing just that every day).  It was horrible, it was embarrassing.
Being pulled off the game in less than 2 rolls was a huge blow to my ego, I'd been excelling in class and here I was failing in front of a ton of strangers and possible future bosses.  I am unaccustomed to this.
They gave me a second chance at a second table with less players and I still stunk the joint up and was pulled off.  I couldn't work the stick and I tried too hard to book my bets and set the table up instead of just booking and dealing with the aftermath after the roll was over.
I'm sure it was ugly watching it and I felt like an ass for even showing up and giving it a shot. I felt like I just wasted all their time.
After my "exit" interview I took a walk around the entire perimeter of the casino in order to clear my head enough so that I could drive home, defeated and broken.  By the time I made it to my car I turned it on and just sat in it for an indeterminable length of time.  I have no clue. I just sat there in dead silence, staring off into space feeling like a complete failure.

I told anybody who broached the subject that I didn't want to talk about it. I sucked and that was all that matters.
I'm really not excited about facing the class tomorrow, having anyone ask me how it went and having to tell them that I sucked.  Especially some of the others who are being told to audition but feel like they aren't ready.  All of them have been telling me I'm 100% ready and will nail it. I don't want the fact that I failed to put any type of fear in them about going since they feel that they are not quite to my level yet.
I also am not looking forward to seeing the teacher again - she who believed in me so much that she sent me to this casino who never auditions break-ins.  I feel like I have failed her but I hope the casino doesn't hold it against her or the school for sending me before I was evidently ready.

I'm not sure how long it's going to take me to muster the courage to go through that again, but I do know that my time is running thin.  I have 4 more weeks where work has allowed me to alter my availability in order to go to class and after that I will have no time at all to go.  Then I'm left to my own devices and left without any ability to practice.  So, I'm going to have to find a way to Bounce Back and find the courage to go through this whole process again knowing what the results were last time and work on trying to change them for the better.

Yeah, I'm not looking forward to tomorrow. I'm not looking forward to next week. I'm not looking forward to that next audition.  I went in feeling like I was going to nail it and left feeling like shit.
I hate failure, but I will do better next time.
I will bounce back - I'm just not looking forward to going through the motions for the next few days.


Also - I'm willing to take any suggestions for topics over the course of this A-Z experiment.  If there is a certain word or phrase or whatever that is coming up that fits that days alphabet listing (or a future one) feel free to suggest it in your comments.
I don't care what it is.  If there are multiples for a day I will weigh the pro's and con's of each and possibly use the one that I feel I can best touch upon.

Thanks for reading - I appreciate it more than you all know.

April Fools

April Fools
A day that occurs every year and the jokes get better and better.  I love that big companies take part in it. I remember years ago, reading a gaming magazine that was talking about a new video game coming out where the heroine was much like Lara Croft but topless during the whole game.
They had a 10 page spread dedicated to the game with interviews, story, plot, and pictures.  It was great and I was pulled in.  I felt the same way when I saw my #1 this year!

I did not feel like doing any joking myself, but I decided to make a list of my favorite "jokes" that I have seen today.  This post will probably be updated as I see more - for now it's small and limited

So, Numero Uno
Google, you crazy Bastards!
Read the story, watch the Video and enjoy.  Also, play with Google Maps and try 8-bit mode - it's awesome. Old School Dragon Warrior.  There are even some monsters lurking when you explore enough.

I would seriously buy this the day it was released

Number 2 - Gary - White boy in the United States somewhere.

I knew this was fake right away because I was in the April Fools mode already.  I also felt that it was too well written and not enough emotion to be entirely true.  Also, I noticed that the blog was not written by Waffles (sorry bro).  However I bit my tongue hoping that it would elicit many sympathy responses until the revel.  It did get some and that made me giggle a little.  April Fools jokes are hard to pull off as an adult because you've been hit with them for years and years - so a successful one makes me smile.

UPDATE:
Found #3
Oh Sweet Jesus I love you Del Taco

#4 - Not Made by Nintendo, but online video game mag 1up.com

#5 - MC Chris has a beautiful song that has been amusing me for the Day - Found on his Facebook
http://mcchris.com/mp3/secretsong5.mp3




(more to come hopefully)

April A-Z

New month and a new premise.  Being that I read a lot of different blogs I have been seeing a theme float around on some that focus more on writing and writers.  This is the A-Z portion of my title.

The premise is that every day of the month (skipping all but one Sunday) there is a blog post pertaining to the Letter of the day (and to keep it simple the letter of the day follows the alphabet).  So, 27 blog posts and 27 letters.
Most of the websites that I have seen doing this are having "guest" posts where people pick out their "letter" and submit their post for that particular day and at the end there is a vote and a winner and the winner gets hugs or drugs, their choice.

I give out free shrugs

It was somewhere 10 minutes ago that I kinda decided to adopt this idea for my blog and will thus follow suit. Focusing on a letter per day will probably help me to write about a bigger array of topics and to help increase my vocabulary (ha!).

This is the part where we see how lazy I get today.  Do I come up with something unique for the Letter A or did I already waste it with A is for April and that's good enough for me?

Seven Out

First audition sucked.
I'm not going to bother to go over it at the moment because I'm obviously not in the mood.
I also don't want to bitch about what went wrong from my perspective as I know I wasn't nearly as good as I should be.  I don't know what it was.  I don't feel like it was nerves but that means I have to chalk it up for not being ready - and I also felt ready.  So, whatever.
Monday starts another week at school where I'll have to buckle down and get more practice and come back better and more prepared next time.

Going to kick back a few cold ones right about now and then pass out. Tomorrow is a new day.

seven-out

Love and other Evil Tricks Satan Pulls on us

Josie and Carmel both had a post about our relationship.

I'm assuming that this means when Josie comes into town she'll get to be part of my first 3-some (her me and Carmel obviously).

I find it curious that there are those out there clamoring for more info, or for that matter any info, about our failed relationship and I'm not really 100% sure why you all want it.

I guess it's the whole train wreck scenario - you just can't look away from it.

However, if you are coming here for info you'll most likely be disappointed.

I had a long reply written up (which has not yet been deleted) but I don't have it in me to hit the publish button. I guess it's just not my style.

I have no issue pointing out my flaws and making fun of myself to get a good laugh!

I'm great at it - I've been practicing it practically my whole life.

I'm a fat boring white guy with a small penis (well, slightly below average).  My hair is thinning, my middle is thickening and to most of the outside world I'm pretty much just a rude asshole.

I make bad jokes - really bad jokes at times - and I think they are all funny.

I'm not remotely racist or sexist but the jokes make me smile and usually at inappropriate times I have to share them.

However, what I try to not do is tell stories where my embarrassment is not the focal point.  And to be completely honest - if I were to tell stories about my failed relationship with Carmel I have a feeling that they would come off the wrong way.  No matter what my feelings are, the only person I want to make look bad is me.

So, inspired by Carmel's post, I'm thinking about making a list of some really inappropriate things I have said in the past.

I'm also thinking about sharing some really odd stories about things that have happened to me during our failed relationship.

I'm an asshole, I'm cool with that.  But I feel it would be a dick move to talk about something that hasn't even gotten a chance to become a thing of the past yet.

Changing

So today was the last day, for a while, that I would have anyone else in the office helping out.
My co-worker is taking a break to get some surgery, some kemo and some recovery.
We've been telling management from the moment we knew her time was short to get someone else for us to train to help out while she was gone.  They didn't need to know everything, but we could give this person enough info to get by and my phone number if a real thought process needed to be formed.
A paper pusher, a phone caller, simple shit to make sure that I wasn't getting royally screwed by having to do the work of two people plus whatever else management decides to dump on me.
Well, none of that came to fruition and knowing that if I were to try to run the office by only working at night things would collapse worse than a bad breast implant I made a managerial decision.

I informed my bosses of what my new schedule would look like.  In fact, I made it appear as though I was actually asking them permission and laid out two different options that we could take this little parade.

Much as I predicted, they choose wisely (the choice I wanted them to make - the choice I knew that they would make, the only logical choice actually).   As I arrived to work today the Store Manager saw me and asked me "Is this really what you want to do" and I replied that it's no different than what I am doing now, the times have just changed as all and I'll now be available to help out our installers, vendors and whatnot.
A bit later in the day I am told that HR gave it the thumbs up.

So, I no longer will be doing any closing shifts and I will be working/class 6 days a week instead of 7.  The only real downfall is I'm going to have to figure out how to wake up early again as my days are going to be 5:30 am - 4pm and 7-4 Saturday.

However, this all hinges on me NOT passing my audition and getting offered a position at Casino BS.
The reality of the situation is I'm a f'n bad-ass, I will pass my audition and I will be offered a job.  So, until my Co-worker comes back I'll work Monday- Friday 6-3 and NOT have class.

The only thing I'd have to figure out is how to function without a whole lot of sleep (I need a course in how to successfully power nap) on the days where I have to put 9 hours into my retail job and 8 hours into my new awesome, chick picking up (according to Rob), career.


Hi-Lo-Yo

Something about Women

Over on Josie's blog she just posted a great tutorial on how to pick up chicks and get laid.
I'm of the firm opinion that she saw how pathetic I am at getting the women-folk, she didn't want to offend me by sending me the steps personally so she did it as a "to all you lazy and dumb men" tutorial.

So, for entertainment value, I'm going to touch on her steps and point out how deficient I am in the chicky-poo category.

Step 1 - Don't get caught dead in the friend zone
Well - anyone who knows me knows that I'm 100% perpetually in the friend zone.  I've set up shop and even have a sleeping bag.  There is no getting me out because I'm just such a great listener and buddy.  If I meed a chick there is a 97% chance I will end up in this zone and only a 3% chances that I will end up in the get in my pants zone.

We'll end today's lesson there.  Since I have obviously failed at step 1, there is no need to continue.  Once you enter the FZ it's pretty much a losing task to go anywhere else so the rest of the steps won't really help you too much.  The only thing that's going to help is a chloroform rag, some roofies or a night of binge drinking causing her to lose her inhibitions and then regret everything she did the night before and probably kicking you out of even the friend zone because now it's too awkward to see you as that any more.

My last failed pick up line
Roses are red, Violets are twisted, are you ready baby? You're about to get fisted!

Still not 100% sure where I went wrong with that - I heard chicks dig a sensitive man that writes poetry?


So, I'll be working on my new method of picking chicks up.  I heard chicks dig a craps dealer that makes lewd, but funny, remarks at the table.
"They're coming out"
"Winner winner oral dinner"
"Lets hit that point ma'am, it's obvious baby needs a new pair of boobs"

May all your sevens bounce off the table

King Queen - It's So Obscene

April just got a whole hell of a lot more interesting for me.

GWAR - a band that I have worshiped for many many moons is coming to Las Vegas on Monday April 9th.  I, for reasons beyond my comprehension, have never attended a GWAR show and I am about to correct that horrible injustice. 

I just purchased two tickets for myself and a buddy and I'll be looking around for extra money to buy some sort of memory from the show.

I am also about to begin my campaign to be fed to the World Maggot live on stage, I've got minor hopes but I really don't expect to get that lucky.

This vile and disgusting beast has been eating GWAR fans for years and years and years.  I hope that I'm lucky enough to be next.

It would also tickle me pink if I were able to feed crack, or a crack-baby to Gor-Gor but you can't have everything in life that you desire.

For those of you who don't know GWAR - here is an article about the band that was recently published.

It's going to be an awesome blood and semen soaked time - I can't F'n wait!!

Swing

The good news is that I didn't have to wait too terribly long.
I got the call for my audition today and after asking about my availability it has been determined that the only shift I can work is swing, which I already knew.
So, after I nail my audition and get hired into the illustrious world of the Casino's I'm going to have to figure out a way to get the proper amount of sleep on the days that I'm stuck working both jobs.

Maybe I should have taken up Roulette instead?

For those of you unfamiliar with casino shifts, swing is either 7pm - 3am or 8pm - 4am.  This is going to make life interesting.  I'm hoping that I can pick up 3 shifts per week and if I get really lucky one of those shifts will be on a day that I don't work at my retail job.
The other two days are going to be complicated with power naps.

I have been told that Poker is sexier than Craps

Of course this is slaughtering my chickens before they even hatch.  I actually have to go through with the audition and conquer my nerves and the table before I can actually plan working multiple jobs.
The other thing is that once a casino hires you, you have to go out and spend money on a sheriff's card and everything else that goes with that which is pretty much a $150 right to work tax if you ask me.
However, them's the rules as laid out in Las Vegas and I'm just a guy looking for a job.

In other news, I am now the proud owner of a Black Jack felt to go with my Craps and Roulette.  One day I'll just own a whole casino!

Lego Craps, Poker and BJ - Get the kids hooked early

Good - Bad - Ugly

Lets start with the good because I like the feeling that there is no where to go but down.

On one of my favorite blog's it's Ask Tom Tuesday with special guest referee - ME!
I'll admit that it's not pretty but dammit I laugh every time I read over my response.
I don't laugh because it's funny (well, it is to me at least) but I laugh because it's true.
Guys are mostly disgusting pigs and you women are all saints for allowing us to be ourselves most of the time.
You all deserve to be put up on a pedestal (high enough for us to look up your dresses)!

If anyone is interested you can rent me out for your blog as well - I'll even let you choose the topic that I talk about.  Like a litter of unwanted puppies I'm "free to good home - or Chinese Restaurant."


Hmm, I think I covered the good and the ugly all in that one.
Now, the bad.

93%
93.4% more precisely.

At one point over the course of the past year I got the feeling that there is a minor deity who is looking over my shoulder and shitting on me.  However, over the course of the past 4 poker sessions I have come to believe that the minor deity is really a major deity whom I have managed to piss of in some unbelievable way.

Maybe I pulled the finger trick on him, or maybe it was on his wife.
Maybe I accidentally did something really mean to one of his daughters (note, I love a good succubus).
Maybe I did nothing wrong at all but look pretty at the wrong moment and now someone who woke up on the wrong side of the torture chamber is taking it out on me.

In a recent blog post I mentioned the hand where I flopped a set of 3's and another guy went runner runner 6's in order to hit quads and take a large sized pot from me.
In that hand I was approx 97.8% to win - so that makes today 93.4% not really that impressive.

However, less impressive or not here is what went down.
I'm fairly new to the table and in late position and raise it to $15 with Ad Ac
I get 4 callers to make it a $75 pot.
Flop comes Kh Jh Js
Checks to me and I bet out $50 and get 2 callers.
Turn is a 2x
checks to me and I push, I get the same two callers.
The river is the last King in the Deck.
Player 1 has KT
Player 2 had KT
Player grrouchie wonders what he has to sacrifice in order to win a pot.

Not cool Satan, not cool.

However, it was cool to hang out with Rob for a bit again - but that's the last time during this trip of his.
I'm back to the savings board as that was my stash - burned up with a 93.4% chance to win the pot!

The Dark Side

In craps, the Dark Side is often used to refer to someone who is betting the don'ts.

Don't Pass and Don't Come.

Talking to a friend at work the other day he indicated to me that there are only two ways he ever plays when he is at the craps table and most of the time he is playing the Dark Side.

He will have his Don't Pass bet with odds and he will play one or two Don't Come bets with odds as well.

Basically, he is the jerk at the other side of the table who is happy when everyone else is losing.  His theory is that the house always makes their money so he should be on their side as well.

The other way that he occasionally plays is to place the 5, 6 and 8 and play the field as well.

This way you win money with every roll of the dice (except the 7).  Granted, you win less with the 5, 6 and 8 because you are getting paid for those bets but you are also losing your field bet at the same time.   This is a strategy that people have employed a lot in craps and it is probably best to play this way if you are going to take all your action down after 2 or 3 hits.  It's boring and it's slow, but it's consistent.

Speaking of The Dark Side - Rob is back in town and he owes me some grub.  I will most likely be meeting up with him tonight for food and then some No Limit action at BSC.  Food will be tasty and I will be satiated and hopefully when I hit the tables I can go on a hot run and triple up in a matter of 3 hours.  That would be nice and it would put me back in business to play once or twice a week again.  

Other than that I believe that every single one of you should check out Splitter's website again on Tuesday (if you aren't already in the habit of checking it out at least once a week that is) for a very special Ask Tom Tuesday with a Very Special Guest (wink wink nudge nudge).  I've been informed that somewhere around 12:45 am on the east coast side of the States (9:45 pm ish here in Vegas) the post will be up for your viewing pleasure.

seven out - Pay the Dark

Lazy Dealers

Because of my interview and hopefully audition I took a jaunt down to Casino BS (this is my new name for it, Casino X was too boring) to check out the game, the limits and the action.  Sure, showing up in the morning is only going to paint half the picture but it left some impressions none-the-less.

1st impression is that the dealers are mostly lazy.  Now, lazy might not be the correct word.  Comfortable might be closer to the real truth.  However, it doesn't change the fact that of all the stuff I have been shown on how to properly do things I am surprised at how much "proper" does not get done.
I'm not going to go into details because it would require too much explanation and would also be long and boring, but there were a whole bunch of "technical" errors that were made and I chalk it all up to just being too comfortable with their jobs, lazy.

The game was also comfortable and slow paced, there were not a whole lot of bets and it all seemed pretty easy, but as I said this was the morning shift.  Maybe the locals go crazy when the sun goes down.

Either way, I hope that I luck out and there is a semi-full table running when I head in tomorrow so that I might be able to get an audition while I'm already there.  If not I'll have to come back some other time which I'm sure will prolong the nerves a bit.  Either way, I feel like I'll ace the test and hopefully be offered a nice part time job.
I just wish that there were some sort of way to figure out how much the dealers make at which casinos so that I know what I'd be getting into and what to expect beforehand - without having to wait until I'm actually working to be surprised or disappointed.

There's no need to fear - Underdog is here!

2002

Here is a picture found on an old email address from a 2002 gathering to play Strat-O-Matic Football.

Nostalgia purposes only!

Matt, Serge, Tricia, Joe

The year was 2002 and the cause was Football baby.  A Fantasy Football game based on last years stats played with cards and dice.  Pretty much my favorite thing in the whole world, at least when playing the game face to face.

The back story.  My good buddy Matt was playing his Rival Joe whom he could never seem to beat.  So, with a playoff birth on the line Matt proudly proclaimed that if he didn't beat Joe he was going to just set his cards on fire.  The reason for this declaration is because Joe was not really the best of players.  He relied on the strength of his cards to bail out is sub par coaching abilities.  Matt made the proclamation because he knew he could out-coach Joe and was not going to accept defeat.

Well, some things are not meant to be and Matt ended up losing.  As soon as the game was over we got to follow Matt outside with his cards in hand and watched him light them all on fire.  It was a lot of fun.

10 minutes later was even more fun as Matt realizes he forgot to pull out his prized Barry Sanders 2000 yard card from his current team as that was the one card he wanted to save.

It's amusing to look back on old pictures like this as the saying is true, a picture really is worth a thousand words (or more).  I'm sure I didn't use my full thousand above but there is a lot more that I could write about this picture, this gathering, this one day frozen in time that luckily was captured to remind me of good times and old friends.

I love looking at this picture and noticing the differences between then and now.  I was still a fat bastard, but you can tell from the hair that Genetics had not yet caught up with me.  A decade later I am forced to keep my hair short because it's way too thin on top to ever grow long again (maybe I should join the Hair Club for  Men or get Implants - but nah, I'll accept the losing hand I have been dealt).
I can't remember the last time I wore a pair of actual Jeans, it's been all Khaki's for years now.  Gone are the Combat Books (back then I only owned Combat Boots, I didn't own a single dress shoe or sneaker) but the flannel still remains.  Well, not that exact flannel but I still have one from that time period and a few others that I now occasionally wear when the weather gets a bit more brisk.

Two of these three people are still in my life.  Matt is one of the best friends that I have ever had and forces himself to vacation to this god-forsaken-hell-hole of Las Vegas that I call home once or twice a year just to see me.  I'll be heading back east this year for a visit and a trip down to the DC metro area with him to visit another old friend and catch a Washington Redskins game.  I am sure I will end up being either the best man or one of the best men at his wedding and I will prepare a speech that will make a whore blush.  I am looking forward to meeting the good woman in his life this year as well.  I miss his ugly ass more than I'll admit even though we chat and text regularly.  Unfortunately for him he was born with a very serious disorder that makes my heart ache every day he lives.  He is a Miami Dolphin fan, that poor son-of-a-bitch.

Tricia is still in my life and we have started communicating more often again.  She is on the verge of shedding the shackles of a "real" job and a boss and starting her own business and I am proud as shit of her for that! Every day that she slaves away, under paid and over worked, is another day she is closer to that dream coming true.  She lives back on the east coast still with a husband who has an awful mustache, a large nose and a horrible white boy dance.  Together they have an awesome daughter who, even at her young age, realizes that her daddy's nose is not proportional to the rest of his face :)  They have recently also introduced a dog with a bad name into their house!

Joe is no longer with us and even though we were never really great friends it saddened me the day I learned of his passing.  He was a nice guy with a big heart and I enjoyed meeting up with him during our twice a year gatherings to play the greatest board game ever made.  I am glad that I have found a few old pictures that he was in to keep his memory alive and remember the fun times we had as a group.


I was originally going to share multiple pictures, but after waxing nostalgic about just that one I realized that there was no need to share more at this moment in time.

Keep on Trucking friends!

A Rant in D minor

This has been bugging me for a little while now and I have instead decided to focus on other things and keep an eye on the positive side of things.

However, I can't sleep and I have nothing better to do than to type for a while (and yes, I know this is my second post of the evening and the 1st will probably get overlooked).

I'm going to start with this.  Normally I hate to be complimented. I don't know why but I have always felt this way. I don't want you to say nice things about me, I don't want you to point out my successes.  I don't want you to congratulate me on a job well done.  I don't particularly want any of this and I really don't f'n want it done in public with other people around who are going to over hear it.

However, at my Craps class I'm just eating that shit up.  Seriously, I have never liked it before but now I'm reveling in it.  Not just from the teacher but from the students who call me a "rock star" because I've caught on so quick and advanced faster than they have.  It's a huge ego boost and I'm eating it like a fat kid eats fucking chocolate.

Now here is where my issue lies.  There are people have have been in this class for 2-3 months straight. Showing up 4-5 times per week and putting in 4-6 hours per day.   Some of these people are starting to feel discouraged and put off because they have been at it so long and they are still struggling daily with certain concepts.

I want to take these people and point out the differences between them and me.  I want to tell them what they are doing wrong and I want to help them to become better so that they can achieve what they want, to get a job dealing craps and enjoy the shit out of life, rolling in fat stacks and sleeping with hot tourists who are attracted to a guy who carries a bent stick and yells "Yo Eleven. Good field, Good Cum."

So I'm going to set up my little tale of two worlds.

When I'm dealing or on stick I focus heavily on my task at hand.  I'm trying to remember everything that everyone is doing and I'm trying to pay attention to the whole table while focusing on what I'm supposed to focus on.  When I'm dealing I'm scanning my board constantly before every die roll and seeing what bets exist. Thinking about my next set of actions depending on what number is hit.  Do I have any don't bets to be cleaned up on any of the numbers?  Is anyone betting the don't come?  How many come bets are out there? How many field bets?  Who is betting on the middle so that I can remember to pay them if one of those numbers is hit.

When I step away from dealing and become a "player" I watch everything the dealer is doing and I watch every bet being made by the other students.  I'm calling every payout silently in my head and double checking if I'm correct or not.  I'm analyzing every move the dealer makes and correcting him if he does anything wrong, pays anything wrong, does something out of order.  I'm doing this for myself more so than I'm doing it for them but I'm sure it helps them as well.

I'm analyzing every payout that the stick is calling out and trying to have them in my head before he calls them out.  If my number is different than theirs I need to figure out why.

I'm also thinking about every losing bet and what they would have paid had they actually won instead.

Another thing that I do is when I am trying to work on a new concept, or I'm trying to memorize how to quickly come up with a payout for a certain bet then I am constantly throwing that bet out every single roll.

I'm throwing it out in different denominations and when it hits I'm trying to calculate the payout before the stick man can.  

I also throw out bets to help the other players.  One guy is auditioning at a place that has dollar tables and so I throw out a ton of bets in small denominations that he's going to have to learn to calculate constantly.  

Now, the other side of the pillow.

The other students, when they are "players" are not working on their game like they should be.

It really pisses me off some days.

We have some who are constantly on her phone. Texting, playing games, talking, whatever.  Constantly not paying a bit of attention to anything that is going on around them. Not improving their game and not helping anyone else to improve theirs.

A couple others are in constant conversation with other "players" and sometimes with the "dealers" as well.  So all they are is distractions to themselves and others.  No learning is going on in their heads when they are not dealing.

You want to know why the fuck you still can't get certain concepts after being in school for 3 months? It's because you're not fucking trying.

Shut up and pay attention to the game.  Stop bitching that it's too hard.

Stop bitching that you just can't get it. 

How much time to you spend studying when you are away from school?  Not a damn bit. You've admitted it to me and to the others at class. It's nobody's fault but your own that you don't understand.  You are not making the effort.

If you can't figure out what a $5 Hi/Low pays then try to figure out a way to fucking learn it.  I heard you bitch about it and then I sat there and threw the bet out every damned roll for 2 hours and you didn't pay one bit of attention to any of it because you were too busy talking to someone else.

I just made the effort to try and help you and you show up to class just as stupid as the day before.

Also, when you are a "player" stop playing the game like you were at the casino.  This is NOT the purpose of the class.  We are not here to pretend to play craps, we are here to learn how to deal craps.

The fact that when you "play" at class and you make the exact same bets every single time and never vary it up at all just means that you aren't even working on improving.

You always bet the horn, you always make sure your hard-ways are out there, whooptie-fucking-doo.

I have yet to see you throw out a Hi/Low bet, or a world bet, or anything else remotely different than you throw out every single time.

Now, you just put a few bets out there and then turn back to your phone or conversation and stop paying attention.

You don't know if you weren't paid properly.  You don't know if you were even paid.  Shit, you look surprised when you see extra chips on the table that you have to pick up.  You are not helping the other people in the dealer position learn anything because you don't even care enough to pay attention to what is going on.

Why waste your money and show up if you are going to be so self absorbed that you won't pay any attention unless you are dealing.

Wake up and smell the failure. This is just like everything else in life.  Garbage in - Garbage out.

Do you want to be a Craps dealer or do you want to be someone who bitches because it was just too hard to master?

There is a reason that I am auditioning after 3 weeks of class and you were stuck on the kiddie table for 3 weeks or longer and it's not because I'm some super talented naturally blessed guy. It's because I have the hunger to succeed and get a job while you look confused when something is explained to you for the 50th time like you never heard the concept before.