2014 New Years Revolutions

2013 ended up being a great year for myself but 2014 is poised to be the best one ever.
Last year I proposed to the love of my life and in just 113 days we will be married and a few days after that we will be in beautiful Hawaii.

The beginning of every year is full of people making lists of things that they want to do to better themselves and then a few days later most of those lists are forgotten and ignored.

So, it's time for my annual New Years REVOLUTIONS (and I'm kind of annoyed this terminology was stolen by a crappy commercial).

1 - Continue to lose weight and get into shape for my wedding photos and walks across the beach nearly naked in Hawaii.   I really want to look good in my photos for my fiance so that she can look back on them fondly and realize what a catch I was "back then."  Come March will mark 2 years that I have been on my "get healthier" quest and at that point I should be down One Third of what my weight was at the time.  That is pretty f'n impressive and the fact that I have done everything in a slow controlled manner to ensure that I do not put the weight back on is the greatest part of all.

2 - Play more Video Games.  No specific goal but here at the end of the year I have found myself putting some serious hours into some games that I really love and I want to continue because this is one of my favorite past times.  I've broken the 100 hour mark in Diablo 3 and I plan on breaking that mark in Skyrim as well.

3 - Beat a video game for every system I own.  This one gets to be more challenging as I keep adding new systems to my collection.  I'll also want to make a separate post about this one in particular at a later date so that I can detail what systems I am including in this and what games in particular I am looking to play and beat on each of those systems.  Now that the PS4 and Xbox One are out (and the fact that I want to pick up a PS Vita) it becomes a more daunting task but one that I feel I am up for.  The only problem is finding time to actually get some gaming in especially when I no longer have "free time" and am living with my new family.  It will be tricky but I'm sure I'll find something that works.

4 - Become a Crock-Pot Master.  I'm not sure how this popped into my head or why it has stayed there but for some weird reason I want to learn to make some good tasty stuff via the crock-pot once I am living with my new family.  I've never been much of a cook and I'm a big fan of making something quick and easy when my belly tells my brain that it's hungry.  So, this is going to take patience and dedication to plan ahead and actually prepare things.  The crock-pot is a nice way to do it too because you just throw the ingredients in and set the heat and timer and just let it go until it's ready.  Not a whole lot of tending to the garden if you know what I mean.

5 - Be an amazing father and help further the development of the son I am marrying into.

6 - Figure out ways to spend less money - Budget - etc.  The wedding is going to take a while to pay off but it's all going to be worth it in the long run.  After that there is saving up for college and retirement and other big scary things that life throws at you.

7 - Read at least one book every 3 months.  I want to say one book per month but I know me and I know that it just is not going to happen.  I could read like 8 books in the first 3 months and then next thing you know I just ignore books for the rest of the year.  This is what happened either this year or last year.  However, having received Doctor Sleep for Xmas I really want to dig into it.  I also want to read the last Dark Tower book that came out, The Wind Through the Keyhole.

8 - Get really fucking shit face wasted at least 4 times this year.

9 - Do #8 but preferably not alone :)

10 - Make more time for quiet self reflection so that life doesn't overwhelm me and I ignore the little things.

New Years Resolutions 2012

So - the serious post went up earlier today.
Now for the fun and games.


Resolution #1 - Attempt to look more homeless.  The fake homeless make good money in this town and it's about time I got a piece of that action.

Resolution #2 - Ties into #1 - Develop a drug habit.  This will help me to accomplish many things.  It will help me to accomplish #3 and #1.

Resolution #3 - Lose Weight via my new found drug habit.  I don't know if I'm going coke, crack, smack or horse - it's a tough decision but I'm all about making the tough decisions in life.

Resolution #4 - Alienate friends - I think this one will be pretty easy with my new homeless look and drug problem.

Resolution #5 - Develop nickname of Crack-head Larry - No one is going to know my name and this is the nick name that I am hoping to receive from the people at the shelter.  I also guess that this answers question #3 for me now doesn't it.

Resolution #6 - Commit a major crime (and maybe some minor ones too) - I have been drug free and crime free nearly my entire life, it's about time to change that don't you think.  This will probably coincide with #3 and the new found drug habit, but it doesn't have to.  Maybe GTA, or Car Jacking or armed robbery.  There are so many choices to make for this one that I'm giddy with excitement.

As you all can see, 2012 is going to be a banner year for the Serge household - I'll try to blog about it as long as I don't sell off my computer for crack and lose my electricity for non-payment.  Hope you all stay with me for this ride of a lifetime!!

New Years Revolutions 2012

Every year, right at the very beginning or the absolute end people come up with their resolutions.  It's just as traditional to make a list of things you want to do for whatever reason as it is to break those resolutions just a few weeks later because, honestly, if we were going to make a change what difference does it make that the calender says January 1st instead of March 22nd?  None at all.

But for some reason the 1st of January holds this mystical power over people that they think that they can just spout off a bunch of lists and it's automatically going to happen.  As if we get this sudden burst of willpower that magically only happens when the calender year changes.  It doesn't happen and resolutions (much like promises and hearts) were made to be broken.

With all that said, it's not going to stop me from making mine. :)

Part of my list is about bettering myself because honestly - why make a change if it's not for the better?

Nobody ever starts off their resolutions with "Resolution #1 - I'm going to develop a crack addiction and screw over my family.  Resolution #2 - I am going to be homeless by April.  Resolution #3 - I will have a cardboard sign and stand on the intersection of Charleston and Decatur begging for money and in the process chasing off that bitch who stands at MY CORNER with the sign that reads "Breast Cancer, please help" While at the same time smoking a cigarette which is only going to give her lunch cancer to go with her titty cancer."

Most my list, however, is just really goals that I have in life for the next 12 months - and most of them superficial because lets face it, I'm pretty superficial.

So, Enough small talk - We are two days early but here are the grrouch's 

Numero Uno: Become Debt Free - The absolute most important goal that I have without a doubt is paying off all of my debt (excepting the house).  I have been working at this goal for the last couple of years and now it is within striking distance and I am getting tired of saying that this is a goal and just want it to be done.  Going into 2012 I have approximately $5,400 left to pay off before I can scream at the top of my lungs that I am debt free and start living a life without shackles.  This will be a huge burden lifted once it actually happens.

Number Two: Grow a really radical handle-bar mustache

Number Three: Beat 24 Video games - No, not beat a video game based on the TV show 24, it's beat 24 different video games.  In 2011 I have beat 19 video games and that is with taking a lot of time off during some trying times.  I believe that I can average 2 video games per month beaten.  The nice thing about this goal is that it forces me to diversify my entertainment habits - this gives me something to do other than obsessing over poker 24 hours a day and wanting to do nothing but.  You have to have variety in your life and I plan on it.

Number (Fantastic) Four: Play More Poker - I was planning on putting this much further down the list but dammit I already mentioned it in #3.  So lets address the big pink dead elephant in the room shall we.  2011 sucked giant monkey balls.  2011 was the 1st year where I ever was a loser over the course of the year and I absolutely hate it.  It's depressing to look back and see the crap that I went through at the poker table session after session.  I need to get back to my winning ways, I need poker to provide a nice steady second income for me so that I can escalate #1 which is paying off my debt.   See, everything ties together in senior grrouchie's blog of bullshit.

Number Five - Five - Five Dollar Footlong - How is footlong not a word?  Where was I going with this one again, totally had an idea until that stupid Subway commercial entered my brain.   Oh yes, I got it.  read more. December 2011 was a good month for me to get back into the spirit of reading.  It's something that I really do enjoy but I just randomly forget all about it and end up taking a decade off from doing it.  However 2012 is going to be different because I got me a new fancy dancy Kindle Fire to fuel my reading.  I'm also back in touch with an old friend who happens to read all the bloody time and is a fledgling editor for some up and coming novelists.  As far as volume of reading I'm going to take it light and give myself a goal of 18 books in 2012.  That's 1.5 books every month which should not be hard to do at all.  A lotta books don't have a lotta words/pages in them and you can easily fly through them in just a few days if the story and writing are any good.  This also ties into my diversifying my entertainment.

Number 6: Blog more - I just am going to pretend that you all are Audrey II and the only way to satiate your outrageous appetite is by blogging more often. Bonus points to those that get this reference off the top of your head with no help from any sources what-so-ever.  In the past I have had several failed attempts at blogging in one form or another because I just get all moody and shit and don't want to tell the world of 7 readers what is going through my head.  However, this time feels different because I am enjoying the interaction and I genuinely am enjoying it.  At this stage of my life I also have a little bit more to write about than I did when I was younger.

Number 7: Write a short story - This one really could have been tied into the previous mention of blogging more.  It could have simply been "write more" and any numerous avenues of writing could have been included, but I broke it off because longer lists look more impressive.  Truth be told I love to entertain, even if the only person I am entertaining is myself.  I'd like to see if I am capable of creating a work of fiction that lasts more than just a few pages and that can hold the interest of others as well.  I honestly think that I will fail at this though and all of my attempts will be horrible and end up in deleted files never to be seen again.

Number 8: Stop Going Bald - listen, I know that I really don't have control over this one, but this is my list so let me at least pretend that someday I'll be able to have the same illustrious flowing beautiful hair that I did when I was in my teens and early twenties before genetics decided to kick in full gear and stop "receding" and just start "balding" instead.  I just want to be a long haired hippy, why can't I just have this one thing?  WHY?

Number 9: Number 9: number 9; number 9: 

Number 10: Keep track of my finances better - I'd like to be able to see where my money is going. I'm a trained accountant for crying out loud, you'd think that I'd be better at tracking my own finances but NoOOoOoooOo.  I don't appear to give a hoot (don't pollute) about them at all.  I'd like that to change and as such I have set up a spreadsheet to aid me over the course of the year.  I plan on tracking my spending in such categories as Video Games, Blu-Rays, Music, Nights out on the town, strippers tipped, lines of coke snorted off of a strippers tit, Prostitute's paid (Separate categories for street walkers, escorts and brothels) and other miscellaneous categories.

And all the while I am going to be using this blog as a way to report the details back to each and everyone of you who actually decide to read along.  2012 is going to be the best year of my life and I actually hope that I get to interact with you all more and hopefully get to meet some of my new found internet friends when the time arises.